Apparently I'm not as well as I thought

[ailbhe]

Clues:
- Constant fatigue.
- Not having the energy for a shower in the evenings (I can't shower unless Rob is here because of Astrid's particular stage of development; there isn't anywhere safe to put her, though I'm going to figure something out with the new highchair soon). I actually went a week between showers. I am still brushing my teeth, washing face and doing hair, though. But even so, yuck.
- Being too apathetic to eat.
- Being very tense and only realising when my jaw aches or my leg jiggles or something.

Another clue: the other day I did something very odd, for me; I ate nothing until Rob gave us dinner, then I overate at dinner until I was uncomfortable, and later, although I felt full, I ate a pack of biscuits. It's not unusual for me to eat a pack of biscuits when I am hungry, but I was already full. I wasn't happy about that.

I'm going to list my way out of it. To do lists, morning routine lists, checklists ahoy. And I'm going to buy lunch out if I'm too tired to make a proper lunch, even if I have to go slightly overdrawn on my spending money. Definitely.

Comments

[aquaeri]

My symptoms are a bit different, but yeah, that bit about needing lists to remind myself how to do routine things. Hugs if you want.

[mrs-redboots.livejournal.com]

Poor you! I hope you feel better soon.

[tiggsybabes.livejournal.com]

That was me before the anti depressants started to work last week. I've lost lots of weight through not eating all day, but it's all going back on again now I'm eating normally.

The tenseness & jiggling has been driving Andy mad :(

[ailbhe]

This is after my antidepressants work. Very odd.

[rosefox]

You might want to mention these symptoms to the person who prescribed them, and discuss possible adjustment of the medication type or dosage.

[leedy.livejournal.com]

Was going to say the same thing - I was definitely *better* after my first dosage of meds kicked in, but didn't feel *myself* until I upped the dosage (I was prescribed Lustral and apparently it's one of the antidepressants that does actually have a different effect at different dosages, according to my Lovely GP).

Really hope you feel better soon. It's an awful place to be in, and I'm glad you're prioritizing the stuff you need to do to get well.

[ailbhe]

We doubled my dose less than 10 days ago. I expect it will work better soon.

[leedy.livejournal.com]

Fingers crossed! I remember it took a couple of weeks for the doubled dose to work for me, but once it did it was like magic ("Ooh! I can sit and read the newspaper while A naps rather than just sitting in a lather of anxious indecision about what I should do next!").

[livi-short.livejournal.com]

metabalism changes can creat ups and downs, some meds mean you can't eat grapefruit juice or cranberries

[tiggsybabes.livejournal.com]

:( That's a shame as most of this has gone now my anti-ds have kicked in. I still have the jiggling, which is annoying.

[biascut.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you think that mental good health and less stress is something worth spending money on. I think it is too, and being able to put that out as a value and as a commitment to your own good health is really important.

[ailbhe]

It takes a fair bit of effort. I'm also going to go and buy clothes this weekend; I have almost nothing which fits, except grey or beige things, and that's getting me down too. And some socks without more than the usual number of holes.

[ailbhe]

And a second bra! I'm going to have a second bra! Thank heavens for Rob's new job.

[leedy.livejournal.com]

There is something both mentally and, well, quite literally uplifting about having a well-fitting bra!

[ailbhe]

I might wait until Monday when the new branch of Bravissimo opens in town.

[gloriap.livejournal.com]

Your antidepressants may be working, but it sounds like not very well. Your provider should be able to keep switching until something is found that works well for you.

Has your thyroid level been checked recently? (IANAD)

[batswing.livejournal.com]

I am sorry. I hope that recognising it and knowing it's important are steps towards things being better.

[clarahippy.livejournal.com]

Sympathies. Getting lunch out and clothes that fit help me feel more like a real person when I'm struggling.

We have a baby currently trying to eat everything including and especially the cat - yes this would be the one who scratches you if you stroke him wrong but lets the baby repeatedly pull clumps of fur out while giggling. I caved and bought a baby-cage (travel playpen) in the charity shop today. But I fully expect you have explored/rejected that option already, I mention it mainly as solidarity.

[rachel cotton (from livejournal.com)]

Before I manage to delete this again....

1. We have a baby-cage you are welcome to, but it is unwieldy and hefty. High chair much more flexible.

2. Muscle tenseness and fatigue can be common side effects of your meds. Perhaps one to check with your gp.

3. Not sure how long meds take to kick in fully, am sure someone can correct me. Thought it was at least 6 weeks if not longer for them to get settled in so to speak.

I would write more but I'm worried I would delete it all again...

but - 2 bras! Whoop!

[ailbhe]

I am definitely in the period of they've-started-to-work-and-now-I-need-to-work-with-them. Once I make the initial effort to eat, dress, get out of the house etc, it will all be better. I was doing that while waiting for the meds to kick in, and then I took my eye off the ball, but it's back on now.

[taimatsu]

Good for you noticing. I hope I can be helpful when I'm back next week.

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

I'm hoping for you to be weller soon. *radiates hope*

[baratron.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry that things are difficult for you. Hope your brain chemistry improves soon!

[cherade9.livejournal.com]

I've never really stopped having the tense jaw and jiggling foot since I was in hospital with anxiety 3 years ago. In fact I started grinding my teeth as a side effect of taking Citalopram. But it's a sign that I'm getting more ill, rather than a constant difficult thing to manage.

Getting the right amount of sleep seems to be key. I realise with the wee ones that's not always going to be possible. But over time it'll make a difference. You will get better than where you are now, even if better is different to where you were before.

[pauamma]

/me offers huggage, encouragement, and or congrats, as appropriate.

[livi-short.livejournal.com]

Has your CPN done a care plan with you that has red amber green bullet points?

They list the normal things you do (showering daily - green)
things you forget to do that show a slip in health (not showering for 3 days - amber)
Things that show not caring for self(not showering for over 7 days, not eating when alone - red)

This helps both me and Adam now my mental health quite easily and how much care i need from my mental health team.