This is just to say

[ailbhe]

I have been reading the post about rape and consent and stuff and all the comments, and thinking about the times in my own past when I failed to make consent clear by buying into the cultural structure which has seduction as a base and by ignoring my own involuntary "No" responses as "one of those involuntary things" rather than as "oh, look, part of me said no."

And then there were the times when I cajoled, seduced or persuaded, my own self.

I think I am going to work harder to make the "enthusiastic collaboration" model of consent the default. It will make a lot of people's sex lives simpler and a whole lot more fun.

Sometimes I think I could make a bigger difference if I were raising boys.

Comments

[rmc28]

I found a lot to think about in that post and its comments, including my own unconscious attitudes.

One comforting thing was that when I summarised the post to Tony he said "yeah, I've been trying to speak up when people say sexist things, I've been inspired by mjg59" and went on to tell me a little anecdote about doing so that very day.

Not that it makes everything ok, but I was comforted that a) he didn't even go to "but I'm not like that" b) he's actively thinking about speaking up and c) he could name a male role model who inspired him to do so.