This is just to say

[ailbhe]

I have been reading the post about rape and consent and stuff and all the comments, and thinking about the times in my own past when I failed to make consent clear by buying into the cultural structure which has seduction as a base and by ignoring my own involuntary "No" responses as "one of those involuntary things" rather than as "oh, look, part of me said no."

And then there were the times when I cajoled, seduced or persuaded, my own self.

I think I am going to work harder to make the "enthusiastic collaboration" model of consent the default. It will make a lot of people's sex lives simpler and a whole lot more fun.

Sometimes I think I could make a bigger difference if I were raising boys.

Comments

[nakedfaery.livejournal.com]

Life is very different when raising boys. I've had to deal with so much. The whole boys don't cry bulls**t for a start. Then the idea that boys shouldn't play with pink toys or have dolls or doll related items.

As he gets older, it will be harder to raise him as a feminist. I keep his mind as open as possible, but there's no way that he won't be affected by heterosexual, cisgendered male privilege. I have a feeling I'll need to have many conversations with him about sex and rape and consent, and I don't know if I especially look forward to those.

[flybabydizzy.livejournal.com]

It is difficult to raise either sex as we'd wish. Both have, as you say, cisgendered male privilege to deal with, from both aspects, and the girls learn awful ways to get what they want. I tried to raise them to be people-ist - respect irrespective of gender.
I ensured my son had dolls and a play house - (before I had a daughter;nobody had guns, but plenty of pirate swords and lego. Both did karate.
I'm not sure what to make of what mine have grown up to be, but my son (23) paid me the best compliment 2 weeks ago. His partner (legally his wife) is now a trans male. He said he is comfortable and happy with who he is, and that he puts that down to how I raised him.
(sorry for the hijack, Ailbhe)

[ailbhe]

Sounds totally on-topic to me. I'm glad he's happy, too, and hope they've taken all the leftover hospital equipment out of him now and reassembled him properly, sans appendix, of course.