ailbhe: (Default)
[personal profile] ailbhe
Oh, so that's what a mental health crisis is like when one seeks help for it!

Unlike when I had postnatal PTSD six years ago, or depression four years ago, I've asked for help.

The major differences are...

More crying. Much more crying. More feeling like an undeserving fraud. Fewer, less detailed suicidal thoughts. No suicidal planning. No infanticidal thoughts at all, which is fabulous. Some irrational, paranoid thoughts, but awareness that they are irrational and not shameful. More crying. More visible external symptoms of anxiety, which may well be directly connected to the less suicidal thoughts thing.

It is hard not to say "Oh I'm fine, I'm fine," but it's so worth the effort. There are awesome resources available I wasn't even aware of before, when I felt that I shouldn't bother Rob with my problems, and we're going to use them.
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