Augh, shoot me now.

[ailbhe]

Linnea thinks I am unkind. She's right. Urgh. She says she will be a MUCH nicer mother than I am when she's grown up. I say (meanly) I hope so.

It's going to be ok, of course, because it always is. But I'm pretty frustrated with my inability to keep my temper under control when stepping on expletive deleted plastic toys I asked them to pick up days ago.

They have SO MUCH STUFF. The temptation to bin it all is sometimes very strong. I think we need to really, really get working on proper toy storage, in a planned, dedicated, spending actual money and time on it fashion. That, or get them to enjoy giving things away. I can't see that happening.

Comments

[the-changeling.livejournal.com]

IKEA do clear plastic stacking boxes, with lids, that are superb for toy clutter.

They are not cheap, but they are durable, and stylish enough not to feel like you live in a warehouse.

These are the ones we use. They stack up very well, when full, and you can move then around easily, to get to the bottom one.

http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/70102972

[ailbhe]

We need to create a space in which to keep the boxes!

[the-changeling.livejournal.com]

See if you pick up a Tardis on ebay, or even freecycle. :-)

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

*emails you some clear plastic bins with stacking lids*

[annifa.livejournal.com]

My dad once came home, made himself a cup of tea and said, "If this stuff isn't off the floor by the time I finish this cup of tea, I am going to throw it all in the bin."

My brother and I cleared it all up in time. I have a vivid memory of using our blocks trolley to carry stuff up the stairs, like a wheelbarrow.

I think you'd be within your rights to threaten similar, particularly if you're stepping on stuff. Those small toys bloody hurt! They will have to take responsibility at some point, I don't think my brother and I were very old at all, although my dad is quite stern and Caribbean, so it may not translate in the same way!

[ailbhe]

I've done it once. It's a bit nuclear, as options go. I'd prefer not to be screamingly angry when I haul it out.

I did actually fill a binbag but they were allowed to rescue things if they put them away. I am not at all sure I could actually throw their belongings in the bin. They're not my belongings.

[annifa.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I can see it's a tricky one - I'd be very upset if someone tried to get rid of my stuff (and my mum's always telling me to clear out "be ruthless" when she comes round the bloody minimalist). I can see it's one of those things where it's hard to get what you want, without being mean. I vote for plastic storage tubs. I think Wilko's are even cheaper than Ikea.

Good luck
x

[ailbhe]

The Playmobil is all in the attic...

I am so, so not naturally calm. I wish I were.

[radegund.livejournal.com]

Wow ... I'm reading this thread with a sort of ... slack-jawed yearning.

Our household is so far from this sort of measure being possible.

Tell me, does the paradigm whereby parents can compel their children to pick up toys work even if the parents constantly leave their stuff strewn everywhere?

Because I'm at sea here. We live in utter chaos. A lot of it is the boys' chaos, but equally, a significant portion of it is the adults'. And I haven't worked out in my head how I can address their mess without first addressing mine.

But maybe that's arseways. All I know is, I grew up in a household that got this aspect of life spectacularly wrong. And now my household appears to be replicating that pattern.

Genuinely seeking input, here, if anything occurs!

[ailbhe]

No, I think the adults have to put their stuff away, at least within limits - we don't leave dangerous stuff out, or stuff that might trip people, and we're planning to not allow the children to either. And they're allowed to tell us off if we get it wrong and we own up and apologise.

[radegund.livejournal.com]

See, that's more or less how I feel too. But my motivation to deal with my own mess tends to deflate in the context of everyone else's mess - I tip over into resentment territory very quickly.

[ailbhe]

Talk to the children about it? if someone does a huge tidy, as I did yesterday, and things start from fresh there, with a clear floor in one place and a commitment to maintain it (just the floor, not putting everything away where it belongs, exactly), they might rather like the idea of having a consistently clear space.

Or not, which is another issue entirely.

[sidheag.livejournal.com]

I do (with warning, and not every night) coming in with a black bin bag and picking up everything on the floor. I don't throw it out; it goes in the box room, and he can have it back when he's ready to unpack and put away everything in it. I refuse to do multiple black bags, so while there is a black bag, everything has to come up off the floor every night. He actually seems to quite like this system, which probably says he needs more toy storage, or fewer toys!

I am also very far from naturally calm, but what I'm good at is going back and thinking about the issues when I'm not angry. Given a system that's known and agreed that can be applied when my patience is going makes everything easier. I even do fines from pocket money, because saying "fine one pound" makes it easier not to hit him :-( He still says "Mummy is a mean mean" and "you don't love me" until I forbid that too, and having grown up convinced that my mother didn't love me, this bothers me. I wish being a certain kind of parent were as easy as deciding what kind of parent one would like to be.

[k425.livejournal.com]

Like the others, I get cross about STUFF ALL OVER THE BLOODY FLOOR.

My rule: If I stand on it and it breaks it goes in the bin. If I stand on it and it hurts me it goes in the bin. If I have to ask three days in a row for it to be picked up and put away, it goes in the bin.

I have also removed toys for a week for refusal to put away. The Lego has been out of service on occasions for that reason.

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

Oh she is so not right. You do thousands of kind things. Teaching your children how not to be irresponsible messy pigs when they grow up is definitely one of them.

[mrs-redboots.livejournal.com]

The quite extraordinary thing is that, after endless battles, my daughter grew up to be a lot tidier than I am! And I think she is grateful.

I do remember once when she was grounded until her room was tidy (a frequent occurrence!), a small head coming round the door: "Mummy, does my room have to be immaculate, or will just tidy do?"

But yes, I resorted to the black sack on occasion - sometimes it's the only way. You don't actually throw the things away, but you tell them the sack is going in the bin/to the charity shop on (give them a couple of days) and anything in it goes too. They do rescue the things they really want to save.

As requested...

[pauamma]

/me shoots you with a nerf gun (and picks up the spent darts)