Demon voices

[ailbhe]

When the pain gets really, really bad, I stop thinking of ways to manage it and start to feel like a pathetic fraud who is wasting everyone's time. This is so reliable that I can say "Rob, I feel like a useless fraud. Am I having a contraction?" and he can reach down and feel them, yup.

The real contractions feel pretty much exactly like the PTSD flashback ones I used to get when I wasn't pregnant. It's kind of strange.

But oh, I'm almost kind of enjoying this, in its own way.

I'll be back in the pool and offline again soon. But that's how I am now.

Comments

[minoanmiss]

ISTR that PTSD sets off some of the same neural pathways real life sets off. For example, when I used to have flashbacks I would feel industrial carpet pressed against my knees with my body's weight, no matter where I was during the flashback (standing, sitting, lying down).

*keeps on sending you strength*