Phone Call Fail

[ailbhe]

American Accented Caller, Probably Speaking English As A Second Language, And Reading From A Computer Screen, Slowly: Hello, am I speaking to Missus Caul Ear?

Me: No.
Caller: Is that the address of Mister Robert Caul Ear?
Me: Yes.
Caller: May I ask how you are related to Mister and Missus Caul Ear?
Me: No.
Caller: In that case I'll try a callback later [some other stuff I didn't hear because I hung up].

Seriously, how I am related to them? Well, I'm married to one, and the other is my mother-in-law, but damned if I'm going to tell anyone who doesn't even introduce themselves. A legitimate business would give some sort of introduction. In fact, so would a wise illegitimate business which nonetheless hoped to make a sale.

Comments

[pauamma]

That's when they find out they accidentally called a sex fantasy phone line. :-)

"Would you like Mister and Missus Caul Ear to give you a good time?"

(done in the right, slightly bored voice, it can be very effective)

[barakta]

LOL!

[pashazade.livejournal.com]

Seconded. I'd never get Gertrude to talk to a cold-caller; she has far too much hauteur.

[hitchhiker.livejournal.com]

LOL! perfect :)

[pashazade.livejournal.com]

I had that the other day. Caller asked if I was Mrs Liadnan, so I simply said "No." and waited. Turned out to be our electricity supplier. (Next time I really must say "Mrs Liadnan? Oooh that was a terribly grisly story...")

[kcobweb.livejournal.com]

I've been known to answer that question "Is this Mrs. C?" with "Not exactly." It confuses them.

[rjw76]

I do that, or use "No, but I'm Mr Owen's wife" (ugh ugh ugh). The really annoying ones are when they're trying to get my husband all along, and it would have been a lot simpler if they'd just asked straight off for Mr Owen...

[the0lady.livejournal.com]

Ugh, I hate that. Hate it hate it hate it.

It's not always dodgy businesses though; I used to get this from BT, Southern Electric, all sorts. Even in cases where both our names appeared on the bill, they'd ask for "Mrs B".

Which is not nearly, remotely, approachingly as infuriating as getting Christmas cards from your mother-in-law addressed to "Mr & Mrs B".

Pressuring women into accepting patriarchal norms much?

[ailbhe]

We had a knock-down drag-out row with them over Mr & Mrs Hisfirstname Hissurname. Mrs Hissurname I can kind of tolerate if someone is elderly and frail of thinking, but not having my own first name? Not so much.

[the0lady.livejournal.com]

I'd have written it off as just a medieval attitude to women if it were not for the fact that I knew damn well that obliterating me, name and all, from her son's life was my MIL's darling wish, at least in the first few years of our marriage. It rally brought it home to me that the "Mrs Hisname Hisname" thing isn't just a quaint and harmless tradition, but a violent repression of women.

[moonborn.livejournal.com]

I almost came to blows with the midwives at the hospital who KEPT calling me "Mrs H." and the Tiny Tyrant "baby H." for an entire week.

Tyrant has his Daddy's surname. Which is certainly NOT H.
Mrs H. is, so far as I'm aware, my grandmother.


*reflective*
I'm not sure if it annoys me more when the electricity and phone company call me "Mrs" or "Miss". Surely they ask for my title for a reason?!

[micheinnz.livejournal.com]

Because of the way we are listed in the phone book (Initials Myname and Initials Hisname), we often get cold calls asking for "Mr Myname". I usually say "There's no-one by that name here." "Oh, then could I please speak to Ms Hisname?" "No, there's no-one by that name here either." "Ah. Thank you for your time."

Every now and then one will get bold and ask if I am "Mrs Myname," to which I say "No." And wait. And sometimes, but not always, I let them off the hook and tell them "No, I'm MS Myname," if I'm feeling nice.

And as soon as they start with the spiel, it's "I'm sorry, I don't accept telephone solicitations. Goodbye."

[(Anonymous)]

I refuse to answer to the name 'Simmons'! It's spelled with one M! It's pronounced Simons! How many people whose first name is Simon get called Simmon? And if anyone calls and asks to speak to "Mr Simmons" I say, "get his name right and I'll see if he wants to speak to you!" But I reckon that people who don't even know your proper name are probably not anyone who you'd want to speak to anyway ;-)

Why not register with the 'Telephone Preference Service'? When people cold-call I just ask, "Have you heard of the Telephone Preference Service?" and at that point they usually apologise and hang up.

Elaine