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ailbheLinnea
4 years 10 months
20kg approx
107.5cm high
Self-care at home
She can fetch her own cup, plate, bowl, and cutlery, using the step-stool in the kitchen, and she can reach the cereal, bread and fridge without a step. So she can make her own sandwiches and fix her own cereal. She can and has used a breadknife to cut her own slice of bread, but I prefer to do that myself unless I feel very patient, because she's careful about her fingers as she saws the knife back and forth, and slicing bread is a fairish skill. Slicing cucumber is fine as long as you don't mind fairly chunky slices, which she doesn't. She can pour her own drinks (and mop up her own occasional spills) as long as the carton or jug isn't completely full.
She can, of course, use a knife, fork and spoon, or serve herself from a bowl or serving dish or platter, and spread her own "butter" (non-dairy spread) and jam and so on. Cold peanut butter is difficult; we hit on the mixing it 50/50 with spread method and she was thrilled.
She can get dressed herself but usually doesn't. She can get undressed herself but doesn't unless she wants to be naked - which sometimes she does, alone or in company. She puts on her own coat and shoes to go out, but can't tie her laces yet. She can do her own zips but prefers not to.
She can use the toilet and wipe herself and wash her hands and all that without any adult interference, and prefers to either do it all alone or in her pants. Or, of course, all alone in her pants. She really doesn't like help or company when she's doing it. Oh, and she wets the bed, which everyone in my family did much longer than anyone else we've ever heard of, so I'm not expecting that to change.
She can brush her teeth fairly well herself but still gets a grown-up finish; I think she will be able to do it with only observational supervision after her fifth birthday and possibly largely unsupervised after she's six.
She can brush her own hair but not tie it back very well. She can put in clips and hairslides but not very well. If she brushes her hair before I do, it hurts a lot less when I tie it back.
Helping at home
She can carry bowls of food to and from the table without spilling. She's excellent help sorting or cutting veg for dinner, and counts eggs into eggboxes patiently at the market. She can also lay the table with plates, knives, forks, spoons, dessert spoons, drinking vessels, and trivets. Tablecloths are slightly beyond her yet.
If you need a screw held or a nail found during a DIY project, she's your girl. She also likes hammering. She enjoys sweeping up when she feels like it, and drying the floor after it's been mopped. She is more help than hindrance in all these things, which is a big milestone for us; I wish I'd noticed when it happened. She still helps hang the laundry in an unhelpful way but there you go.
She doesn't like getting a napping-spot ready for Emer, if Emer falls asleep when she's feeding and I'm a bit stuck, but she does do it, very competently.
She helps Emer with her meals and dressing and undressing (oh, how she helps with undressing, and when! Their timing is inspiring) and reads to her - whether she reads the words or pictures is as yet unknown (see below). If we're out with Emer on my back, Linnea will put her hood or hat on while I crouch down for her, and she automatically helps her in public groups of children in ways she doesn't when we're all at home.
Playing at home
There's a lot of television, computer use, and now the DS Lite. Apart from those things (mazes, number games if no-one's watching too much, letter games if she doesn't know I can hear), there's a lot of drawing, modelling with paper or playdough or sticks, and other "art" type stuff, and complicated role-play games. We make a lot of tents; if I set up the frame Linnea is quite good at pulling the blankets over the top but it does last longer if I help because I am still slightly taller than she is.
She reads to herself but doesn't like me to read to her much. Rob reads her a bedtime story most nights.
We often have people over to play and what they do varies hugely. She likes games from boxes but prefers to make up her own rules. She also likes to direct other children, including Emer, in games of role-play. She is almost never a stay-at-home mother; she likes to leave the kids with me while she goes off to dig up dinosaurs or work at the nursery or grow things on the farm or teach or whathaveyou. Very occasionally, she takes the kids to work with her. Also, she has run a Baby School once or twice, where she teaches people how to look after babies. This almost always involves the careful and elaborate demonstration of how and when to use a dummy/pacifier/soother, a complicated and exotic piece of equipment she finds funny and fascinating.
Playing outside the home
Linnea can run, though she rarely runs flat-out. She can walk as fast as I can for the first mile, but would prefer to stop and look at things until she gets so cold she wants to cry. She climbs, often using only one hand, and makes decent snowballs, which she can throw with unpleasant accuracy. She likes to balance on very narrow walls very high up and run in little steps. She jumps long and high and often.
She doesn't cycle or scooter very well but also, to be fair to her, hasn't had a whole lot of practice at these things; we mainly take her scooter out with other children and then they get most of the turns, and she can cycle with three wheels or stabilisers (on borrowed bikes) but I haven't taken her actual bike out much because I can't get it into the trike.
She can't walk in high heels.
She can swim, though I don't know how far she can swim without touching bottom; at least two widths of the local pool, but any further than that and I think she usually touches down, at least briefly. Swimming underwater is her top fave and she will be delighted when I deem it warm enough for me to go swimming again.
Listening and talking
She can listen attentively but hates to do so, which is quite reasonable, I think. If I'm giving warnings or instructions I have to ask her to repeat them back to me. She has recently started saying "poo" a lot again, for her own reasons, no doubt. I remain bored and unshockable, so far, I hope. She talks to everyone, even to me sometimes; she will call out to people she passes in public places, "I am Linnea, who are you?" or just "Hello!" and she can't see anyone without trying to make friends. We got a bus to ERAPA a couple of weeks ago and she sat in the front seat upstairs, looking out the big window, beside a little boy of ten or so. "Hello," she said, "I am Linnea and I am four, what's your name? How old are you? That's my mummy, she is Ailbhe, and my little sister is two and her name is called Emer and we are going to ERAPA to see our friends. There's another bus, it's not going our way, look, it's a number seventeen but it's going back to our home. Before we go to ERAPA we have to go shoe-shopping because my sister needs new shoes," and on and on and on. The little boy was really very good about her.
She hears all sorts of things we never realised. The radio is a dangerous piece of kit.
Reading and writing
Linnea Cannot Read. It is Official. Archie-ologist, fossils, phonelists and all. She can and does read, but I don't know how much, because she stops if I show up. I know she can read the phonelist on the wall and dial her friends' numbers, though she's technically not allowed to. She reads books to Emer and to herself, though I can't tell how accurately.
She also can't write and is apparently no longer able to write even the letters of the alphabet, let alone make them into words.
I believe all this, obviously, since telling her I know she's faking ignorance isn't useful. But I admit it does frustrate me a bit. I'd prefer a bit less modest (defensive?) reticence and a bit more performing seal.
Drawing and making
Linnea has stopped drawing biological diagrams; the reproductive system was the main one, but she also did digestion and lungs. Oh, and the eye, that was probably the first one ever. Now she draws all sorts of things, often aliens. All her people are very recognisable (as per the Giant she did on the blackboard when she was two) and a lot of her animals are too. Her houses rarely look like the one we live in.
She can and does colour inside the lines and she has been known to string beads on thread - adult beads, not huge toddler-beads.
She has asked to learn to knit a few times but loses patience with herself after one or two stitches.
Counting and manipulating numbers
We have no idea. We know that she used to count quite high and add, subtract, and multiply, but she doesn't seem to do this much any more. She divides nicely when we have things to share, but Number Games aren't much her thing any more. There will be other times for other phases of it.
Sleep
Linnea goes to bed at bedtime - sometimes under protest - and sleeps until waking up time. She almost never needs us at night unless she's slightly unwell.
Social
Everyone in the world is Linnea's friend. She loves talking to and touching babies, helping toddlers, bossing age-peers, and following (and bossing) older children around. She has no idea that people might not want to be her friend (and I'm not telling her) and approaches almost everyone as though she loves them and they love her.
Linnea has several close bosom friends, some of whom reciprocate the depth of feeling, and very few friends who are much fonder of her than she is of them.
People often compliment me (and her, when I remind them to) on how nice she is to babies. Also on her table-manners when we're out alone. She conducts her own transactions in shops and cafes very nicely and almost always gets good service. I'm half-planning to have her pay her own bus-fare the day she turns five.
Formal manners
Linnea knows about saying "Please" and "Thank you," and "You're welcome," and has grasped that it's polite to introduce yourself before you ask someone else their name (I wish adults would figure this out when they are talking to children, they know it perfectly well when talking to adults). She uses most of these fairly often, especially when dealing with strangers. And she's a dab hand at handing around the snacks and nibbles at gatherings, and understands that one must offer things to the guests before taking one oneself. I remind her every time, because that's a big thing to remember, but she does get it. She also holds doors open for people, and clears up after herself in cafes or other suitable situations.
She can do a good apology but sometimes doesn't want to. If I tell her she's whinging or whining she can - and does! - adapt her voice's pitch and the content of her sentences so that she can ask for things without irritating me.
Other stuff people notice about small children:
She's learning to tell lies, though not very well, and can't always tell what the truth is in a given situation. She can tell time to the hour or half hour, and knows when breakfast lunch, dinner, and bedtime are. She can accept that an activity will end at X o'clock or half past X. Digital clocks confuse her because they're just plain not proper clocks and that's all there is to it. She isn't much interested in sharing her inner life with us but occasionally melts us utterly by declaring that she loves us. She likes cuddles and kisses sometimes but is generally fairly distant, physically. She's much more demonstrative with other people than with Rob and me and Emer. But sometimes we find Emer sitting on her lap, having a story read or watching TV with her. When we see that we sneak out quietly so's not to spoil the moment.
4 years 10 months
20kg approx
107.5cm high
Self-care at home
She can fetch her own cup, plate, bowl, and cutlery, using the step-stool in the kitchen, and she can reach the cereal, bread and fridge without a step. So she can make her own sandwiches and fix her own cereal. She can and has used a breadknife to cut her own slice of bread, but I prefer to do that myself unless I feel very patient, because she's careful about her fingers as she saws the knife back and forth, and slicing bread is a fairish skill. Slicing cucumber is fine as long as you don't mind fairly chunky slices, which she doesn't. She can pour her own drinks (and mop up her own occasional spills) as long as the carton or jug isn't completely full.
She can, of course, use a knife, fork and spoon, or serve herself from a bowl or serving dish or platter, and spread her own "butter" (non-dairy spread) and jam and so on. Cold peanut butter is difficult; we hit on the mixing it 50/50 with spread method and she was thrilled.
She can get dressed herself but usually doesn't. She can get undressed herself but doesn't unless she wants to be naked - which sometimes she does, alone or in company. She puts on her own coat and shoes to go out, but can't tie her laces yet. She can do her own zips but prefers not to.
She can use the toilet and wipe herself and wash her hands and all that without any adult interference, and prefers to either do it all alone or in her pants. Or, of course, all alone in her pants. She really doesn't like help or company when she's doing it. Oh, and she wets the bed, which everyone in my family did much longer than anyone else we've ever heard of, so I'm not expecting that to change.
She can brush her teeth fairly well herself but still gets a grown-up finish; I think she will be able to do it with only observational supervision after her fifth birthday and possibly largely unsupervised after she's six.
She can brush her own hair but not tie it back very well. She can put in clips and hairslides but not very well. If she brushes her hair before I do, it hurts a lot less when I tie it back.
Helping at home
She can carry bowls of food to and from the table without spilling. She's excellent help sorting or cutting veg for dinner, and counts eggs into eggboxes patiently at the market. She can also lay the table with plates, knives, forks, spoons, dessert spoons, drinking vessels, and trivets. Tablecloths are slightly beyond her yet.
If you need a screw held or a nail found during a DIY project, she's your girl. She also likes hammering. She enjoys sweeping up when she feels like it, and drying the floor after it's been mopped. She is more help than hindrance in all these things, which is a big milestone for us; I wish I'd noticed when it happened. She still helps hang the laundry in an unhelpful way but there you go.
She doesn't like getting a napping-spot ready for Emer, if Emer falls asleep when she's feeding and I'm a bit stuck, but she does do it, very competently.
She helps Emer with her meals and dressing and undressing (oh, how she helps with undressing, and when! Their timing is inspiring) and reads to her - whether she reads the words or pictures is as yet unknown (see below). If we're out with Emer on my back, Linnea will put her hood or hat on while I crouch down for her, and she automatically helps her in public groups of children in ways she doesn't when we're all at home.
Playing at home
There's a lot of television, computer use, and now the DS Lite. Apart from those things (mazes, number games if no-one's watching too much, letter games if she doesn't know I can hear), there's a lot of drawing, modelling with paper or playdough or sticks, and other "art" type stuff, and complicated role-play games. We make a lot of tents; if I set up the frame Linnea is quite good at pulling the blankets over the top but it does last longer if I help because I am still slightly taller than she is.
She reads to herself but doesn't like me to read to her much. Rob reads her a bedtime story most nights.
We often have people over to play and what they do varies hugely. She likes games from boxes but prefers to make up her own rules. She also likes to direct other children, including Emer, in games of role-play. She is almost never a stay-at-home mother; she likes to leave the kids with me while she goes off to dig up dinosaurs or work at the nursery or grow things on the farm or teach or whathaveyou. Very occasionally, she takes the kids to work with her. Also, she has run a Baby School once or twice, where she teaches people how to look after babies. This almost always involves the careful and elaborate demonstration of how and when to use a dummy/pacifier/soother, a complicated and exotic piece of equipment she finds funny and fascinating.
Playing outside the home
Linnea can run, though she rarely runs flat-out. She can walk as fast as I can for the first mile, but would prefer to stop and look at things until she gets so cold she wants to cry. She climbs, often using only one hand, and makes decent snowballs, which she can throw with unpleasant accuracy. She likes to balance on very narrow walls very high up and run in little steps. She jumps long and high and often.
She doesn't cycle or scooter very well but also, to be fair to her, hasn't had a whole lot of practice at these things; we mainly take her scooter out with other children and then they get most of the turns, and she can cycle with three wheels or stabilisers (on borrowed bikes) but I haven't taken her actual bike out much because I can't get it into the trike.
She can't walk in high heels.
She can swim, though I don't know how far she can swim without touching bottom; at least two widths of the local pool, but any further than that and I think she usually touches down, at least briefly. Swimming underwater is her top fave and she will be delighted when I deem it warm enough for me to go swimming again.
Listening and talking
She can listen attentively but hates to do so, which is quite reasonable, I think. If I'm giving warnings or instructions I have to ask her to repeat them back to me. She has recently started saying "poo" a lot again, for her own reasons, no doubt. I remain bored and unshockable, so far, I hope. She talks to everyone, even to me sometimes; she will call out to people she passes in public places, "I am Linnea, who are you?" or just "Hello!" and she can't see anyone without trying to make friends. We got a bus to ERAPA a couple of weeks ago and she sat in the front seat upstairs, looking out the big window, beside a little boy of ten or so. "Hello," she said, "I am Linnea and I am four, what's your name? How old are you? That's my mummy, she is Ailbhe, and my little sister is two and her name is called Emer and we are going to ERAPA to see our friends. There's another bus, it's not going our way, look, it's a number seventeen but it's going back to our home. Before we go to ERAPA we have to go shoe-shopping because my sister needs new shoes," and on and on and on. The little boy was really very good about her.
She hears all sorts of things we never realised. The radio is a dangerous piece of kit.
Reading and writing
Linnea Cannot Read. It is Official. Archie-ologist, fossils, phonelists and all. She can and does read, but I don't know how much, because she stops if I show up. I know she can read the phonelist on the wall and dial her friends' numbers, though she's technically not allowed to. She reads books to Emer and to herself, though I can't tell how accurately.
She also can't write and is apparently no longer able to write even the letters of the alphabet, let alone make them into words.
I believe all this, obviously, since telling her I know she's faking ignorance isn't useful. But I admit it does frustrate me a bit. I'd prefer a bit less modest (defensive?) reticence and a bit more performing seal.
Drawing and making
Linnea has stopped drawing biological diagrams; the reproductive system was the main one, but she also did digestion and lungs. Oh, and the eye, that was probably the first one ever. Now she draws all sorts of things, often aliens. All her people are very recognisable (as per the Giant she did on the blackboard when she was two) and a lot of her animals are too. Her houses rarely look like the one we live in.
She can and does colour inside the lines and she has been known to string beads on thread - adult beads, not huge toddler-beads.
She has asked to learn to knit a few times but loses patience with herself after one or two stitches.
Counting and manipulating numbers
We have no idea. We know that she used to count quite high and add, subtract, and multiply, but she doesn't seem to do this much any more. She divides nicely when we have things to share, but Number Games aren't much her thing any more. There will be other times for other phases of it.
Sleep
Linnea goes to bed at bedtime - sometimes under protest - and sleeps until waking up time. She almost never needs us at night unless she's slightly unwell.
Social
Everyone in the world is Linnea's friend. She loves talking to and touching babies, helping toddlers, bossing age-peers, and following (and bossing) older children around. She has no idea that people might not want to be her friend (and I'm not telling her) and approaches almost everyone as though she loves them and they love her.
Linnea has several close bosom friends, some of whom reciprocate the depth of feeling, and very few friends who are much fonder of her than she is of them.
People often compliment me (and her, when I remind them to) on how nice she is to babies. Also on her table-manners when we're out alone. She conducts her own transactions in shops and cafes very nicely and almost always gets good service. I'm half-planning to have her pay her own bus-fare the day she turns five.
Formal manners
Linnea knows about saying "Please" and "Thank you," and "You're welcome," and has grasped that it's polite to introduce yourself before you ask someone else their name (I wish adults would figure this out when they are talking to children, they know it perfectly well when talking to adults). She uses most of these fairly often, especially when dealing with strangers. And she's a dab hand at handing around the snacks and nibbles at gatherings, and understands that one must offer things to the guests before taking one oneself. I remind her every time, because that's a big thing to remember, but she does get it. She also holds doors open for people, and clears up after herself in cafes or other suitable situations.
She can do a good apology but sometimes doesn't want to. If I tell her she's whinging or whining she can - and does! - adapt her voice's pitch and the content of her sentences so that she can ask for things without irritating me.
Other stuff people notice about small children:
She's learning to tell lies, though not very well, and can't always tell what the truth is in a given situation. She can tell time to the hour or half hour, and knows when breakfast lunch, dinner, and bedtime are. She can accept that an activity will end at X o'clock or half past X. Digital clocks confuse her because they're just plain not proper clocks and that's all there is to it. She isn't much interested in sharing her inner life with us but occasionally melts us utterly by declaring that she loves us. She likes cuddles and kisses sometimes but is generally fairly distant, physically. She's much more demonstrative with other people than with Rob and me and Emer. But sometimes we find Emer sitting on her lap, having a story read or watching TV with her. When we see that we sneak out quietly so's not to spoil the moment.
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(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-09 07:35 pm (UTC)I just wanted to say I really loved reading these, they were really interesting. My son is 4 years 5 months old and has started saying poo a lot again recently. He also bed wets occasionally, but not every day. I know he'll stop doing it when he's ready.
Your children sound wonderful. Linnea seems a lot more independent than Nathan, so I'm looking forward to seeing what happens to Nathan in the next 5 months, it's amazing how much difference that can make.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-10 08:58 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-11 07:26 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-09 07:41 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-10 08:59 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-09 07:49 pm (UTC)I do find your posts about your girls very interesting, and look forward to perhaps meeting them one of these days :)
(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-10 12:58 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-10 08:59 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-10 09:09 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-10 03:45 pm (UTC)Oops - that's something I omit, too, and never thought about. Thanks for pointing it out.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-10 09:01 pm (UTC)The very few adults who introduce themselves to children win my heart forever.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-10 09:32 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-10 09:37 pm (UTC)Now I tell them my name. How else will they learn manners?
(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-11 10:13 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-02-13 09:23 pm (UTC)I'm somewhat horrified, though, by the gaping chasm between what your children do around the house and what mine do (see under: "Children have Mamas"). I wonder how I might go about changing that. Perhaps a p_s post is in the offing...