Clearly, the glamour was going to my head

[ailbhe]

I was sitting at the dining table ordering a new bra, so that when we go to Ireland for a fortnight I will have TWO bras which fit. Just as I finished, Emer walked in from the front room, without a nappy on.

"Mama?" she said, and pointed between her legs. "Oh dear," I said, "Is there a puddle? Where do I need to clean up?" (Emer is a naturally fastidious child and always tells me when she spills wee, juice, or other things, so that I can clean them up for her). I walked past her into the front room and looked for a puddle. I couldn't see one, but I could smell...

Poo.

Oh.

Right.

I had a quick look around and saw a suspiciously small smear. So first I grabbed Emer and wiped her with a muslin from that room's Basket Of Wipey Cloths. I wiped her bum, legs, feet, and hands. Definitely the smear I'd seen on the carpet was too small. Look for more.

Ah, lumps, by the toys.

Right by that little pile of toys.

In fact, that's a plastic toy animals set. There's an elephant, a farmer, a chicken, and a dog.

And they have all been pressed into small lumps of dung.

Well, it all looked very rural, that's for sure.

(It's all cleaned up now. Dry wiping, a nailbrush and warm soapy water, more mopping up with dry wipes, etc. And now the room smells of lavender, not poo. But even so. All I was doing was ordering supportive underwear. If I do something really decadent, will someone have diarrhea in the pantry?)

Comments

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

And they have all been pressed into small lumps of dung.

Well, it all looked very rural, that's for sure.

*falls over laughing*

[k425.livejournal.com]

*hysterical laughter*

Sorry, but, well, sorry!

[trinker.livejournal.com]

If I do something really decadent,

Oh, dear. Yes, I know. Michael has an unerring sense for the most dangerous spots in a hotel room, despite mama's best attempts to childproof instanter.

[the0lady.livejournal.com]

I am so not having kids, like, ever.

[hitchhiker.livejournal.com]

i feel bad for laughing, now :)

[tiggsybabes.livejournal.com]

I'm sure that they sense when we relax, mine certsainly do.

[zinecure.livejournal.com]

lol...been there...all to recently...

I was babysitting my best frinds 3.5 year old...she and tyler were playing like crazy. She said she had to use the potty, so I let her go...she has been potty trained since she was able to walk. she came out of the bathroomn and closed the door. She leaned against the wall and had her hands behind her back....looking very sheepishly...like she had done something wrong. I asked her if everything was ok, she nodded, unusual for her, i asked if she washed her hands, she said no, she couldn't figure our sink out. So I am thinking, Ok, she didn't wash her hands, that is all. Well low and behold, I open the bathroom door to find the toilet is about to over flow with poop and tons of tissue and flushable wipes, there are poop hand prints on the walls, counter and tub, there is a smear down the side of the toilet, the floor and just about every surface in the bathroom. I asked her if she wiped herself, she said yes...I didn't believe her as she became very defensive. So I checked...her panties had poop in it as did her jeans, all mushed together. TYler was very interested in what was going on and kept trying to come into the bathroom....I sent him for daddy. Rob enters the bathroom with a "Good God, WHat happened?" I was stripping becca down and started the shower (we have a detachable head for washing tyler's hair. Two hours later, tons of bleach, a bath, and and soak of clothes, we have a clean bathroom and a becca dressed in TYler's clothes which are 2 sizes to small....

A few nights ago, becca's mom awoke at 2 am to shrill screams from her daughters room...apparently the family cocker spaniel became ill in bed that night with becca and had vomited and pooed all under the blankets and Becca....I know this is mean, but I was slightly amused...

[misocrunchy.livejournal.com]

Ewwwwww.

And lol @ the last bit.