Just take your bottom off!

[ailbhe]

Trivia: our shower has broken.

diazepam useful
Nurse declares coil lost
Nurse phones other local pharmacies and doctors and finally coil delivery company
coil traced to reception desk
coil found
"small" speculum
pain
cervical smear
pain and blood
Clip device to hold the cervix open
Dipstick to measure the uterus
blood
scissors tongs thing to insert coil
Much pain
Stop, deep breaths, try again
Much more pain
Speculum slips out
Reinsert
Try again to insert coil
All fail
They suggest trying again and I howl no.

It was awful. Agonising pain, mental anguish, emotional trauma, all in one handy package. I have a prescription for cocodamol now, and another one for diazepam, and one for antibiotics, so we're prepared for the next try.

I can't imagine being prepared for the next try. The last time I voluntarily endured this much pain it was to conceive Emer, and this time it's to stop myself conceiving a baby, when what I most want in the world is to have baby after baby after baby? It's insane.

I am so fucking sensible. I sincerely wished I was dead today, after we got out of the surgery. But I am still wondering what to do next - do I just let myself ovulate and get pregnant? If I ovulate without contraception in place I will goto some lengths to get pregnant. Ovulation makes me go from desperate for a baby to insanely desperate for a baby.

Comments

[micheinnz.livejournal.com]

Oh god I'm SO sorry all this happened. So very sorry. It shouldn't be like this.

[barakta]

Meep. That sounds pretty horrific - I wish I had better words or ideas for you.

[hfnuala.livejournal.com]

Jesus. Poor you.

[juliet]

Is there any way they can do it under an LA or GA, in the circs?

[hopeforyou.livejournal.com]

That would be my question, too.

[rosefox]

Oh my gosh, you poor thing. I'm so so sorry.

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

i'm sorry.

[pauamma]

/me offers huggage.

[dreamalynn.livejournal.com]

How dreadful. Many many hugs.

[firecat]

IUDs are really painful and IME they don't work anyway.

oh *dear*

[merryhouse.livejournal.com]

hugs

[kiya]

Oh, goodness. How awful.

[thereyougothen.livejournal.com]

oh god. i'm so sorry. rest easy, and think again, when you're ready

[aquaeri.livejournal.com]

I have no words for the awfulness of your situation, but I'll offer a hug if you want.

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

oh shit, that's just terrible. anaesthesia an option?

[k425.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry it went so badly.

[sashajwolf.livejournal.com]

Argh, what a horrible thing to happen after your past experiences. Maybe it would be a good idea to take some time to recover and then talk to your wonderful midwife to see if she has any ideas about contraception or is able to support you through getting advice from someone else?

[baratron.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry for the trauma :( It sounds truly frightening and unpleasant for you.

But I am still wondering what to do next - do I just let myself ovulate and get pregnant?
It's not really an "I" conversation, is it? I know that you're the one with the hormones, but I'd like to hope that you'd discuss things with Rob.

Also, I don't think the coil stops you from ovulating anyway, so it doesn't seem like the best idea :/ I guess the implant and the coil are the only "whimproof" options, though? I agree, the world sucks that there's no way for Rob to take responsibility for contraception. Just like the world sucks that I can't give my entire reproductive system to someone who can't get pregnant. Bah.

[ailbhe]

Keyboard-dead-again.Yes-talked-to-Rob-but
ultimately-my-body-so-Rob-won't-decide-so
entire-burden-of-restonsibility-is-on-me.
Rob-says-willing-to-suttort-me-no-matter-wot
or-willing-to-get-male-coil-if-invented
but-not-to-decide-timing-of-next-baby-as
it's-not-Rob's-womb,erineum-or-'elvis.

Life-sucks.

[radegund.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm so sorry. Boo and bah.