Beyond triggery

[ailbhe]

Twice in the recent past I have talked about babies swimming, to two different sets of people.

It's truly amazing, how babies swim. They are born knowing how. They know to stop breathing when they go underwater; they keep their eyes open so that they can see what's happening; their arms and legs automatically propel them where they want to go. They know how to steer their bodies through the water, under water, and they can hold their breath effectively for ages before they start to breathe the water.

Babies don't know how to drown.

Comments

[batswing.livejournal.com]

That's all very well in a swimming pool though but then in anything else there's currents, weeds, ripples from animals/rocks/plants, murkier water, all kinds.

I'm so sorry. This is so haunting.

[ailbhe]

Well yes, in a river in July a baby being held under water by its mother can drown... in icy, murky water. Perhaps he couldn't see her face. Perhaps she couldn't see his.

I can't go on like this; I will go mad.

[batswing.livejournal.com]

You're so incredibly strong. Whether you realise it or not. I'm pretty sure I WOULD have gone mad by now. I'm still torturing myself over my mum's death and that wasn't suicide and didn't take anyone else with her.

You can't re-write history and there is nothing, nothing at all you could have done for them.

I know there's nothing that can take their fear out of you. I hope very much that time will help.

Urgh, I just don't have the right words at all.

It's just heartbreaking from here that although their pain and fear is over you're having to relive it so much. You don't know whether they could see each other, what they were thinking and I know that must be killing you. But you can't know. I understand, I do, that it's torturing but you can't help it.

There is really, really nothing you could have done. There is nothing you can do for them now. I know that doesn't help or make it feel any better.

People still here though - You can be someone who understands and that's worth more than anything else in the whole world. If I'm ever lucky enough to be a mum I know I'll more than appreciate empathetic people like you being around.

I wish I could say something, anything, helpful. I'm so sorry I can't and I'm so very sorry you have to live with this having happened.

[perceval.livejournal.com]

(((Ailbhe)))

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

no words here. *hug*

[pauamma]

/me offers huggage.

[radegund.livejournal.com]

:-(

[dreamalynn.livejournal.com]

*sending every good thought*

[merryhouse.livejournal.com]

me too