because the date doesn't actually matter to everyone? i laugh at the much-purported idea that one's wedding day is the most important day of one's life -- every other day after it is just as important for the relationship; and hopefully less stressful. :) my relationships don't hinge on any specific days, except maybe the first day we met, since without that none of the other days would have ever happened. but i don't celebrate that day either because it was just chance, and how we acted towards each other afterwards, that matters a lot more, that is what shaped the relationship.
ergo we don't celebrate anniversaries at all, and instead live each day with the conscious knowledge that this is a marvelous relationship, and i want it to continue that way -- sort of a small celebration, a minute of silence and appreciation.
Odd. For me our wedding day was one of the most important days of my life, the day when we stood in front of our families and friends and made public and binding our commitment to each other.
For me, it made public an already existing binding commitment, which was nice, but not in any way life-altering. Which day that happened on wasn't important; the date was actually chosen because it wasn't in term-time in any of three countries.
Maybe it's different for those of us who were more "traditional" about it? We didn't actually live together until we were married, so the wedding day really was the start of our life actually living together on our own instead of always at each other's parents homes.
Yes, that would make a big difference. The day Rob and I started living together as a couple instead of as two independent adults who had both left parents' homes years before is an anniversary we never, ever forget.
Well, we met just before our 17th birthdays, and as we lived at opposite ends of the same street not actually living together wasn't really a big issue for us as we saw each other all the time *G*. We were betrothed within days, and engaged on my 18th birthday - so all plans I'd had prior to us meeting for my going away to university went out the window. I think the longest period we were apart during our just over 2 year courtship was a fortnight (and that was because I'd committed to helping out at a youth camp before we met).
yeah, the committment itself is rather more important to us, though really, that's more of a result than a cause anyway. making it public didn't matter at all, which is why we did it in private on a semi-randomly chosen date (cool numbers!) that worked well for us. having a wedding wouldn't even have been "nice", because we just don't subscribe to the same ideas as the paramour's traditional family, i am divorced from mine, and we didn't feel like catering to any of that standard stuff, or battling with relatives over how this should happen. too much stress. we're together for us, not for anyone else. nevermind that polyamorous vows would have been cause for yet more strife, *heh*. *shudder*.
and the committment didn't happen on a single day, it was something that developed gradually over time, so there is no day to celebrate.
also, i don't do symbols very well. they never matter as much to me as they seem to matter to so many other people. what somebody says to me on "that special day" can never even remotely be as important as how zie acts towards me on every normal day.
A public commitment made a big difference to both our families, oddly. And it was lovely for us - a huge party in celebration of us, with 80 of our closest friends and relations, all wishing us well and saying nice things about us. It's not something there's often an opportunity for, though Rob and I get to affirm our commitment to *each other* as often as we like.
If I didn't feel so close to Rob's Swedish family, it couldn't possibly have happened that way. Nor if I'd had to invite any of my ick relations.
We've almost agreed that really our wedding anniversary is the Saturday between our birthdays, because we got married on the Saturday between our birthdays...
Eeep. I knew it was coming up soon, and made a mental note last week sometime to look up the actual date, which I then didn't get around to doing. Happy Anniversary!
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(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-05 03:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-05 03:13 pm (UTC)(Although, I will admit I've never understood how anyone can ever forget their anniversary!)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-05 03:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-05 03:51 pm (UTC)Still, happy anniversary!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-05 10:46 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-05 07:58 pm (UTC)ergo we don't celebrate anniversaries at all, and instead live each day with the conscious knowledge that this is a marvelous relationship, and i want it to continue that way -- sort of a small celebration, a minute of silence and appreciation.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-05 08:31 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-05 08:43 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-05 08:58 pm (UTC)We didn't actually live together until we were married, so the wedding day really was the start of our life actually living together on our own instead of always at each other's parents homes.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-05 09:40 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-05 10:16 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-05 10:18 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-05 10:24 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-05 10:02 pm (UTC)and the committment didn't happen on a single day, it was something that developed gradually over time, so there is no day to celebrate.
also, i don't do symbols very well. they never matter as much to me as they seem to matter to so many other people. what somebody says to me on "that special day" can never even remotely be as important as how zie acts towards me on every normal day.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-05 10:09 pm (UTC)If I didn't feel so close to Rob's Swedish family, it couldn't possibly have happened that way. Nor if I'd had to invite any of my ick relations.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-05 11:24 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-05 03:23 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-05 03:57 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-05 04:03 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-05 06:51 pm (UTC)Happy anniversary, whether it's the one that means the most, or an added bonus!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-05 04:22 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-05 05:10 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-05 10:10 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-05 07:56 pm (UTC)