O what a night - That was the year that was

[ailbhe]

I got to sleep late, but in a good mood, thanks to a Marian Keyes book. I woke a few times in the night, for Linnea and for the mysterious but excruciating pain near the top right of my bump. So when I woke this monring I was exhausted and felt ill. Luckily Rob and Linnea cheered me up quickly and plied me with tea and cuddles, so I was able to sort out washing, dressing, dinner, and getting to the toddler playgroup at the YMCA.

I walked to Tiggers Toddlers as usual, but this time the sharp hill halfway there almost killed me. It took me ten minutes, by my watch, to do a 3-minute uphill walk. Every step stabbed and in the end I bent double, pushed the buggy with one hand so my hand-to-hip was a straight line, and held my bump in place with the other hand. Not funny. At the top of the hill I was in so much pain I saw double for a brief period. However, I was able to cross the road and get to the toddler group after a little while, and I let Linnea loose and stood at the edge until I was in control of myself.

It was fun - I had brought flapjacks for Linnea as usual, in case the snack they handed out wasn't suitable, but this week's snack was just fruit, so the flapjacks were shared with everyone and appreciated by all. There was, unusually, no craft table, but Linnea did a lot of trampolining and played with the toy kitchen. I was too shaken by the pain to be much help in facilitating interactions with other children, so I didn't see what she managed unaided. She tends to do fine.

After toddlers, we walked home - Linnea rode, actually - and I did a nappy change and gathered library books. Then we thankfully got the bus into town to meet friends at the central library. That went fairly well; we sorted our books out and went for lunch at the Biscuit Tin, where we were served by an exceptionally helpful and competent young man. I don't usually tip there - it's not that kind of place - but I did today. If I ran a cafe I'd want to hire that young man. Plus he had a cute geeky beard.

After lunch we headed to the shoe dept again. As I thought, Linnea is about to outgrow her current shoes but hasn't actually done so yet. We were assisted by a pleasant young lady who doesn't know is; we tried four pairs of sandals and one of closed-toed shoes and found nothing that fit, so I gave up before Linnea or I became ratty and we'll try again another day. I do have a favourite shoe-person there but one doesn't always get to choose on a given day. The good news is that Linnea is still an F, which is a nice normal narrow kind of a width. There's lots of choice in an F fitting.

As we were leaving the department store my beloved midwife called. She'd received my text about pain and possible bump support. I explained that it felt like ovulation pain but I didn't think it could be, somehow - (a) I'm pregnant, and (b) it has been going on for at least two weeks. She said that it's quite possible that things are tugging on my ovaries; my muscles are not in good shape, on account of my not being able to move some of them any more due to nerve damage, and that could mean things aren't sitting right. She doesn't think it will cause long-term problems, just make pregnancy sheer hell. She also said that it's not serious enough to make it into books on obstetrics and gynaecology because, er, um, "It's not happening to men?" I asked and she said yes. Heh. The good news is, she is going to refer me to the physiotherapist at the maternity unit, and on Saturday she's going to drop by when she's in the area with a support belt so I can see if it helps; if it does I will order one immediately. She has no idea whether it will though, because the support belts are all designed for back support, and my back muscles are fine.

I love my midwife.

Then we went for coffee, and Linnea sat in her buggy and drank some water, ate some crisps, and then read her library books quietly while I read my book. My friend sat opposite reading to her daughter and singing her to sleep; eventually she napped and Linnea was quiet and calm enough to be almost as rested as a nap. The two adults felt hugely refreshed by the whole thing, so we pottered off to a jewelers to match a chain for my friend and then to Mothercare to buy a wedge-shaped pillow and to seek tech support for the buggy. After that we went to the Early Learning Centre to buy Linnea's birthday present from her sleeping friend and then back for more coffee. Then Rob joined us.

We said our goodbyes and Rob, Linnea and I headed home - Linnea did the first part of the journey sitting on Rob's bike, stretched flat out to hold the handlebars, grinning like a loon. It was a gorgeous evening; slightly overcast, warm, breezy, and light. We had a calm, pleasant evening at home, and to top it all off decided that Rob and I deserve, as a gift from the household, an acknowledgment of the hard work we've both put in over the past two years - Linnea will be two in 11 days. We've been through a lot, we've overcome a lot, we've had a lot to enjoy and learn from and celebrate and mourn. Last year, we were still in shock and not really able to celebrate; this year, we are both in much better mental health and far more likely to benefit from a little celebration.

So far, we have decided that we're each going to take Linnea out for a meal, one-to-one - not the usual penny-scrimping spend-on-Linnea-and-save-on-myself that I do, but something where I get nice food too, for example, and a time for Rob to spend time alone with her doing something they both enjoy hugely. Eating together is a wonderful thing, and it's huge fun to teach a baby about olives and pickled garlic and dhal and popadoms and egg and cress sandwiches and all the rest of it. I think Rob and I will spend the rest privately, me probably on CDs and him on ebooks.

It's been a lovely day. OK, yes, the pain, but that's going to be dealt with - and the rest really was lovely.