The Health Visitor Cometh

[ailbhe]

She came, we talked, she apologised for not being my health visitor (my lovely one who retired), and she has now gone away with a list of three things she's going to do for me.

She's going to investigate physiotherapy options for my phsyical issues. She's going to see if I can talk to my community midwife about the last month of my pregnancy to see if any of it was preventable, and she's going to see whether I'm still on a waiting list for PTSD counselling.

And she's going to come again at some point in the next two weeks, phoning first to check I'm in. I am glad I'm going to be checked up on.

She doesn't think I'm going to hurt Linnea. Apparently people who consider calling the police in case they hurt their baby tend not to actually do it. (No, I never actually called the police, yes I considered it on days when none of my friends would have been available to come and nor would Rob. No, I have never struck Linnea).

When the health visitor left, I cried, and Linnea patted me on the head and chirped at me with "OK? OK?" noises until I laughed. It didn't take long. She's so grown up!

Comments

[uitlander]

That sounds like it went really well. Well done you. I know this doesn't actually sort out any of the issues in itself, but it is another step forward. Just keep going....

Progress

[ailbhe]

Having someone come to check I'm still sane is incredibly valuable - and she can also fight the NHS for me! Hurrah!

Re: Progress

[rmc28]

Hurrah for people fighting the bureaucracy for you!

[richtermom.livejournal.com]

Linnea sounds like a little angel on Earth.

[k425.livejournal.com]

It sounds like she may become a lovely HV in the future - I hope so! She seems to be trying to do the right things - not the "right things" but the right things for you.

[tiggsybabes.livejournal.com]

Excellent :) I seem to always draw the short straw when it comes to HVs.

I've never, ever smacked Kate either, but I find it's best to either walk away or send her out of the room if she's really playing up on purpose.

I have had to lock myself in the bathroom some evenings & leave both of them with Andy to just chill so I can get back into the fray in 1 piece.

[datagoddess.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a good visit.

And you know she's right - if you've thought about finding ways to keep you from doing something to hurt Linnea, then you're more likely to get help, or out of the situation, before you would hurt her.

It's a rare mother who hasn't had impulses to hurt their child when they are tired and frustrated, so it's not something horrid, or make you a bad mom at all.

And she's so sweet to comfort you.

[jennyaxe.livejournal.com]

About the thoughts about hurting Linnea - I heard a programme on the radio the other day where they talked about obsessive thoughts, such as "did I turn off the stove" and "did I lock the door". The doctor they talked to also mentioned that many mothers have thoughts about hurting their child and that these thoughts actually do have an evolutionary value. These thoughts tend to make the mother extremely careful not to do anything to hurt the child and to protect it from hurt from other people and things as well.

So those thoughts are not abnormal and they are certainly not a sign that you want to or are going to hurt Linnea. They are your mind's way of showing you how very important it is to you that she not be hurt!

[sashajwolf.livejournal.com]

I second the idea that it's normal to have thoughts of harming your baby. One of the things that most endeared my father-in-law to me was that not long after orangebird was born, he took me aside and said, "look, there will be times when you think you're going to throw him out of the window, and I want you to know that you're not going to, it's perfectly normal, and I don't want you to think you can't talk to me about it". As it turned out, I ended up thinking of smothering him, and I also almost called adoption agencies to have him taken away - but now it's twelve years on, and he's still very much with us :-)