A better day

[ailbhe]

Today went rather better. Rob called the Health Visitor and I have someone coming round tomorrow to discuss my current problem - fits of barely-controllable rage, sometimes directed at Linnea- and I got a lot more housework done. When Linnea was sleepy I put her down to nap in her buggy, so I wasn't housebound until it was too late to go out, and I went o visit my friend with a new baby. I got to cuddle the new baby, 16 days old today, awwww, snugglicious!

I also got quite a lot of necessary housework done today, including scrubbing the bathtub, which was disgusting. And Rob and I are getting on well again; we had another discussion at the weekend, which we do most times I get unwell (ok, more unwell), about how when I'm well and fully-functional, so is he, but when I'm not, he gets less and less done, so that by the time I'm better the house is a mess, there are no clean clothes, and Linnea hasn't eaten properly for days, let alone the two of us. If I'm ill long enough, food doesn't get bought and bills don't get paid, either, which is... well, it's not good. No.

I've never liked being indispensible, and it's downright scary when it's something as important as a family, not just a job. So we're working on it. I may need to list more clearly the stuff I do every day without noticing, like rinse mugs and check that there's enough food for the next few days and so on. Rob does notice bread and things - but not so much fruit and vegetables, or meat. Or loo roll, come to think of it, or soap. Hm.

He's still not surprised people have bought my book. Apparently, if they're poems even he likes, they must be good - or at least popular. I'm pretty impatient now to see what it looks like. They should have been dispatched by now, I think. People in the US should start getting their copies tomorrow or Friday. Ooooh, hopping up and down like Christmas Eve here, aaaaah!

Clever, darling Rob has taken Linnea out to the park witha torch, because last night she refused to go out after dusk because it was dark. Dark! It's going to be winter soon!

I think I need to get myself sorted out before winter. What do you think?

Comments

[niallm.livejournal.com]

The anger is bad. Try to get someone else to visit and help out for a day. You just need the pressure ameliorated for a short while, that's all.

[richtermom.livejournal.com]

I finally decided to put priorities in action and I took a half day off from my job and started cleaning the attic. It took four hours and over 20 gigantic 30-gallon garbage bags to tackle all the crap that was on the stairwell and some of the clothes. I've made a dent. 15 bags of clothes, 3 of garbage, 2 bags of clothes for the sitter. And I can actually see more of the attic than when I started. And get up the stair without a precarious acrobatics choreography.

But it's a start. I want to reclaim the attic before winter. Sorting out all of me would be just too daunting.

Here's hoping Rob picks up on some info. DH is actually the guy who does most of the checks and stuff for bills, but as for groceries and food, it's just disturbing what he brings home when he goes on his own. Sigh.

And big hugs to Miss Linnea. Flashlights are a big hit at our house too!

[rmc28]

I did notice quite strongly just how much stuff didn't get done while I was ill this summer. I'm going to start building up the Flylady Control Journal soon - not necessarily because I need it (though it might help for when I'm just tired) but to have an external reference for what needs doing that doesn't rely on me remembering to mention to people.

[aquaeri.livejournal.com]

James and I also have a problem a bit like this, where one of us doing badly influences the other and we spiral down together. I'm not quite sure who does it to who, though.

But yes, getting something sorted out before winter would be a good thing. What kinds of things have worked in the past?

[micheinnz.livejournal.com]

I think you need to get sorted out, for your own sake as well as for Rob and Linnea's.

*big big hugs*

[djelibeybi.livejournal.com]

When I was very low during my late husband's hospital stay, I felt completely overwhelmed by all the stuff I had to do. I wasn't even at work for the majority of it.

Then I made a list. It was a huge list of all the things I needed to do *NOW*

Soon afterwards, (following a huge depression) I made another list of things that I wanted to do but which could wait.

I compared the two lists and found over 70% of it on the first list. So I took them off the first list and concentrated on what was left. This included childcare for when I was visiting G in hospital; a little help with housework; repairs to domestic equipment and some time for me.

Everything changed. I did things as and when I could cope. I ticked them off the list. I had a greater and greater sense of achievement as the list diminished. I spent a little time each week with friends or family. I started to have occasional nights out just chilling and chatting with pals and very occasionally getting merry. The improvement in my mental wellbeing was phenominal.

Every so often, I make more lists. There are new things to go on there, there are still some of the old *it can wait* items outstanding but they're not floating to the top of the pile just yet.

[sashajwolf.livejournal.com]

I may need to list more clearly the stuff I do every day without noticing, like rinse mugs and check that there's enough food for the next few days

ISTR that Flylady recommends this, too - basically, you write everything down in your control journal while you're well, and then when you're ill, you have something you can point a loved one at which is hopefully in a reasonably user-friendly format. Good luck with it!