Ailbhe's Health Timeline

[ailbhe]

30 April 2004: Baby born. We all know about this; much tearing and cutting, many wounds, tears of joy and anguish, etc.

7 weeks later: Female gynaecologist says that although my genitalia could be left as-is until I finish having children, she can see why I want them fixed. Referral to male gynaecologist.

27 July 2004: Linnea's sleep apnoea pronounced entirely due to her headcold and nothing to worry about. We buy a breathing monitor and I start sleeping again.

13 September 2004: Male gynaecologist says "If it hurts that much, how are you going to get pregnant again, eh? We have to fix it. Don't suppose you'll stop breastfeeding? In that case, use this HRT cream until your surgery date. And the incontinence sounds sinister. You need to see a colo-rectal specialist."

27 September 2004: Prescription for proper pain relief at last! No more overdosing on OTC painkillers.

21 October 2004: First appointment with colo-rectal specialist. Told never to have another vaginal birth no matter what. He decides to examine me under general anaesthetic at the same time as my gynaecological surgery.

14 December 2004: Perineal reconstruction and rectal exam.

07 January 2005: Codeine withdrawal: diarrhoea, nausea, headaches, hallucinations, blackouts.

10 January 2004: Female gynaecologist, who also does traumatic birth counselling, meets me - and promises to get the notes about my surgery as I have heard nothing from either attending surgeon, not the gynaecologist or the colo-rectal specialist.

08 August 2005: Colo-rectal specialist: Exam under anaesthetic to see why the pain persists; conclusion as yet unknown; I will have a follow-up appointment in "a few months".

09 August 2005: Letter from gynaecologist to say that I can have an appointment in 4 months time.

So.

That means that I get an appointment to see why the surgery didn't fix all my problems an entire year after the surgery itself. Linnea will be 19 or 20 months old.

I think Rob needs to start phoning people to say "Should I start divorce proceedings now, or will you have my wife fit for action sometime soon?" and I'm only half-joking, I think they're not listening to me.

So - how does one go about going private in this country? How do I pay someone to fix me NOW? There are people out there performing cosmetic surgery to make people's labias more attractive. One of them can surely fix my little owie. Damn it.

Comments

[richtermom.livejournal.com]

I'm so so so sorry to hear about all this. I'm one of your newer subscribers. My daughter was born in Feb '04 (so she was 18 months last Friday), and I had a relatively uneventful vaginal birth with some tearing, some cutting, and not a huge amount of stitches, but even with that little bit, sex was uncomfortable and well after the six week appointment, and I'm still trying to deal with incontinence. It doesn't help that I'm of Advanced Maternal Age, and we didn't do any of the little stretchy exercizes we should have done before the birth. Bleah.

Frankly, I've heard horror stories about how doctors are more responsive to men's sexual appetites than women's medical needs (hell, just look at American insurance coverage of Viagra vs. hormonal birth control pills) so I actually would definitely have your husband give them calls, especially if he can talk directly to the doctor. Especially if it's a male doctor. I'm not being complimentary to the medical profession anywhere, but frankly, yeah, guys "getting some" comes in ahead of "women's discomfort."

Because, you know. So much of it is in our heads anyway.

I'm glad you came through the hospital visit okay, and I hope Miss Linnea is doing well with you home. Big hugs.

[barakta]

You should be able to get your GP to expedite a more immediate/timely referral, especially if you presented them with that timeline. I can't believe they haven't actually worked anything out yet, nevermind not got round to fixing it. 4 months is a complete joke and it is probably worth kicking off and or asking to contacted in the event of cancellations.

You should have been given the results of their finding while you were under various anaesthetics as soon as possible. "A couple of months" is useless for you as it delays fixing you and leaves you hanging wondering what is going on. They should be able to give you a follow up appointment very soon after surgery, not MONTHS.

I am appalled at the length of time between consultations and would be very angry by now. You have a right to be 'fixed' as this is making a huge impact upon your life and other such plans.

As for private the way you do it is ask your GP to write you a referral letter to a consultant of choice at private hospital of choice. Then you take this letter and contact the consultant yourself and request an appointment ASAP. You will need to ask your GP how your existing medical notes can be acquired in advance for this consultation.

I went private 2 years ago for my shoulder, my dad had work medical insurance which covered me. My GP wrote me a letter, I had an appointment within a few weeks (it clashed with consultant-holiday period which is Jul/Aug btw)... In fact the main delays were because some fuckwit lost my radiology referral, and as it was private when I hassled them about it they had to grovel a lot. If I hadn't had the radiology fuckup I would not have waited 8 weeks for a scan, it would have been more like 1-2.

I didn't regret going private as that finally identified the /actual/ problem with my shoulder and explained exactly why it persistently dislocates. For the first time in 23 years (I was 23) they knew why, and it wasn't somehow MY fault, or me just overreacting (My GP flinched when I showed her - got my referral done ASAP). I did eventually have to go back to the NHS for actual treatment, but the going private speeded up being put in touch with the right people.

If it is getting /that/ desperate, then a consultation privately will do no harm. You will get 30-90 mins of a consultant's time and in some cases that is well worth the GBP100-200 that that will cost. They do actually listen to you when they are getting paid properly for it. My ortho guy said he would love to have that time on the NHS, but it isn't possible to do that and maintain targets. By going private for 3 consultations he was able to analyse my problem thoroughly before I went through the usual NHS months between anything happening stage.

I don't know how serious you were about private, I sense very although how practical that is for you I don't know. Whatever happens next I really hope something actually gets done properly for you.

[ailbhe]

"You should be able to get your GP to expedite a more immediate/timely referral, especially if you presented them with that timeline."

A copy of the letter is coming soon to an LJ near you.

[barakta]

Good. I look forward to reading it and commenting where appropriate. I shall be doing the same on my LJ this evening posting my "potted medical history" for my ENT appointment tomorrow.

The NHS is great in that it exists, I wouldn't want to not have it, or be like the USians, but you do need to kick off when things get stupidly slow otherwise you just suffer stupidly.

[zinecure.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry you have to deal with all that crap. Don't you hate how something that should be easy to fix can be such a long, drawn out process! I think that doctors are a bit odd. They think they know so much but they can't fix a painful problem in a realistic amount of time.

Best of luck in finding someone who can help you.

to get a ballpark idea of costs...

[megabitch.livejournal.com]

contact BUPA - they do fixed price stuff and generally quote up front for various things (http://www.bupahospitals.co.uk/asp/paying/priceguides.asp). Good luck. Remember, I finally caved and went private after 2-3 years of dithering from 4 different NHS hospitals about that stomach op - I am really glad that I did.

Re: to get a ballpark idea of costs...

[ailbhe]

There's a BUPA hospital closer to us than the NHS one, apparently. Hmm. Hmmmmmmm. Thank you.

[tafagirl.livejournal.com]

Hi, I just friended you a few days ago (we have quite a few friends in common, and I like your replies at the Loos :-)) and don't know the background except for this timeline now - and bloody hell! That's awful how much you've been left to wait! I'm going to post about my own health niggle later today but it's nothing compared to your situation.

I'm not in the UK health system (now/yet/currently ...) but I've paid for stuff privately here in Germany on occasion, and I've usually found it worthwhile. Taking the initiative to do what is right and needed feels good, so if you can afford a private consultation, I'd do it. Paying for expert advice is almost always worth the cost.

[murphymom.livejournal.com]

That timeline is just plain unacceptable - and, yes, by all means, have Rob do the phoning. As you said yourself in an earlier post, if it was Rob who was unable to have sex, it would have been fixed immediately. (No fault on Rob, here - it's the medical community that still seems to think that men CAN'T survive with regular intercourse, but that women would just as soon do without, thankyouverymuch. All left over from good Queen Vicky's reign on your side of the pond - the Puritans get to take the blame on my side - and , speaking of which, have you noticed how few Victorians and/or Puritans are left?)(Enough with the parentheticals!) All joking aside, it really is a sad fact that, 21st century or not, a male voice gets responded to far more quickly than a female. Hugs offered to all three of you, if you'd like.

[baratron.livejournal.com]

Remember what I said before: that many people you know would be willing to chip a bit in. If a few dozen people give £5, that adds up.

I have a PayPal account and could receive the payments for you & collect them into a cheque, if needsbe.

[tassie-gal.livejournal.com]

I am a semi regular reader. I second the BUPA comment. When I lived in the UK for a year I had their private insurance and it was amazing. However start yelling and screaming at teh NHS. A very dear friend of mine literally sat in the specialists office until they fixed his mothers drain from her masectomy. He also quite cheerfully yelled at various people until he got what his mum needed. Make a noise, its the only way you will get what you want WHEN you want.