Thats excellent. I second the suggestion that it should be published somewhere.
The last 10 weeks have been an education for me. I was determined to breastfeed, I'd believed all the "if you're doing it right it won't hurt" stuff from antenatal classes. I couldn't imagine ever giving up. Then I developed thrush in late pregnancy. Then I discovered I had Reynaud's syndrome. Then I started getting plugged ducts. I was probably within a feed or two of giving up on more than one occasion.
To an extent the guilt factor was what kept me going but on the other hand it made me feel dreadful for contemplating giving up and that wasn't constructive.
There were a few things kept me going. The fact that L was thriving was one. Had he not been I couldn't have done it. A dodgy weight gain would have tipped the scales. That I discovered he had a dairy intolerance was another - I knew the potential for him to be very ill on formula. I had excellent support - an independent midwife, friends who'd been there and fought their own battles. The wonderful misc.kids.breastfeeding.
The most important thing was the few days of (relatively) painfree feeding I would get when the diflucan kicked in (it took three courses, the final with both of us taking it) showed me what it *could* be like.
What was soul destroying was some of the comments. All the questions about latch were infuriating. It was back to the "if you're doing it right it won't hurt" line. Yes it blimmin' well might. You might have thrush, you might have a not uncommon circulatory problem (Reynaud's) or you might have a plugged duct. I knew the latch was fine, not only had it been checked but when the thrush was gone the pain from the rest largely disappeared. In a warm room, with no thrush, it was as it should be. I was even assured that no way no heck could Reynaud's cause pain in breastfeeding.
The final thing that helped was sitting down last week and coming up with an exit strategy - what I would do if I decided to give up. Somehow that helped me carry on. Those on my friends list may remember that I got pregnant with L the week I decided to take a break from trying and that I went into labour three days after deciding the timescale under which I would accept an induction!
This week, I finally think we're through it. Its been 10 days since we stopped the diflucan and touch wood no symptoms. The plugged ducts come and go, but I can deal with them in a day or two now and move on. I'm going to copy this to my own LJ for my records. It probably needs adding to.
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Date: 2005-05-14 07:50 pm (UTC)The last 10 weeks have been an education for me. I was determined to breastfeed, I'd believed all the "if you're doing it right it won't hurt" stuff from antenatal classes. I couldn't imagine ever giving up. Then I developed thrush in late pregnancy. Then I discovered I had Reynaud's syndrome. Then I started getting plugged ducts. I was probably within a feed or two of giving up on more than one occasion.
To an extent the guilt factor was what kept me going but on the other hand it made me feel dreadful for contemplating giving up and that wasn't constructive.
There were a few things kept me going. The fact that L was thriving was one. Had he not been I couldn't have done it. A dodgy weight gain would have tipped the scales. That I discovered he had a dairy intolerance was another - I knew the potential for him to be very ill on formula. I had excellent support - an independent midwife, friends who'd been there and fought their own battles. The wonderful misc.kids.breastfeeding.
The most important thing was the few days of (relatively) painfree feeding I would get when the diflucan kicked in (it took three courses, the final with both of us taking it) showed me what it *could* be like.
What was soul destroying was some of the comments. All the questions about latch were infuriating. It was back to the "if you're doing it right it won't hurt" line. Yes it blimmin' well might. You might have thrush, you might have a not uncommon circulatory problem (Reynaud's) or you might have a plugged duct. I knew the latch was fine, not only had it been checked but when the thrush was gone the pain from the rest largely disappeared. In a warm room, with no thrush, it was as it should be. I was even assured that no way no heck could Reynaud's cause pain in breastfeeding.
The final thing that helped was sitting down last week and coming up with an exit strategy - what I would do if I decided to give up. Somehow that helped me carry on. Those on my friends list may remember that I got pregnant with L the week I decided to take a break from trying and that I went into labour three days after deciding the timescale under which I would accept an induction!
This week, I finally think we're through it. Its been 10 days since we stopped the diflucan and touch wood no symptoms. The plugged ducts come and go, but I can deal with them in a day or two now and move on. I'm going to copy this to my own LJ for my records. It probably needs adding to.