A Day In The Life

[ailbhe]

Baby wakes up with wet nappy, vest, pyjamas, sleeping bag, and sheet.

Mother and baby have gloriously amusing morning anyway.

Augh! Panic Panic! There are PEOPLE coming! I have foolishly agreed to host the NCT Bumps and Babies coffee group this week. However, I'm sure only about 4 people will show up, tops. Or maybe no-one. No, Katie said she would, so she will. That's ok. I'm not a social reject. I'm not I'm not I'm not. Need to clean house with toothpick as soon as baby's lunch is finished.

Reject toothpick, fix worst excesses of parenthood related hygiene (similar to teenage boy hygiene but with scrupulously clean hands), and dance with the baby to Dolly Parton instead.

Panic that my house is smaller than anyone else's and I'm not sophisticated enough for anything as middle class as the NCT. Put percolator of Swedish coffee on the cooker to make up for it. Somewhat desperately arrange individually wrapped fruit teabags in a bowl on the table. Change huge, pooey nappy (very relieved: could have happened while PEOPLE were here) and walk back into dining room. Go weak at the knees with the shock - it looks pleasant and fairly spacious.

Admire daffodils bought for 38p a bunch at LIDL. Shout down voices in head yelling about imported force-grown slave-labour bulb-plant industry.

Phonecall! Too busy. Baby in one hand, laundry in the other. Speakerphone. Someone's coming. Oh good! Social success! I expect TWO people!

7 people with babies arrive in my house. 4 of them have enormous buggies, 2 of them have small buggies like mine, and one has no buggy at all. I decide to marry her there and then but don't mention it in case she finds it awkward.

My beautifully clear house isn't possible to admire as it's full of buggies and mother with babies. It seems to be gong well - it's certainly very very noisy. The lovely dining room with many chairs is full of buggies as the big buggies won't fit in the library with very few chairs. People sit on the floor.

They leave. It's deathly quiet.

Wow! It's possible to remove a nappy from underneath a vest (onesie for North Americans) without unsnapping the snap fasteners!

While it's wet!

While it's still in the process of BEING wet!

Pick up baby, phone Daddy in mad giggling fit to explain that the laws of Baby Physics need to be rewritten for Li'l Miss Houdini, apply new nappy, change own shirt, find all the soggy bits of stuff and hide them, wash hands again.

Dinner, bath, Daddy comes home, shift-change.

I arranged a social event at my house for me with no-one coming just to see Rob and people came! And they weren't even really my friends!

Comments

[knell.livejournal.com]

I've been observing the buggy inflation thing for some time. It won't be long, I think, before even a single-occupancy buggy balloons to the size of a Hummer with suspension and tyres to match.

[ailbhe]

Double-occupancy buggies, on the other hand, are shrinking. Many of them are now no longer than my single-occupancy buggy, which was the shortest on the market when I bought it. It still weighs 6kg, though, which is *crazy*.

[barberio.livejournal.com]

My GCSE science teacher once gave us all a short lecture on these things. After being asked why he wasnt wearing a proper shirt today.

His answer was 'When changing a baby, you may discover things about parabola arcs, and the important of keeping your shirt drawer shut.'

[mittelbar.livejournal.com]

After all those buggies, they'd *better* be your friends.

[feetnotes.livejournal.com]

:-)))

"I decide to marry her there and then but don't mention it in case she finds it awkward.": *chuckle*

"percolator of Swedish coffee": *worry*

"the laws of Baby Physics": *giggle*

but mostly, :-)))

and thanks for posting that up.

[datagoddess.livejournal.com]

I take it the removal of the nappy from under the vest was done by said wearer of the nappy? Pretty good for someone who's still developing fine motor skills.

Sounds like you had a fun group over.

[aquaeri.livejournal.com]

It sounds like you had fun. Your thoughts also sound frighteningly like mine when I have parties, except babies tend not to be involved.

[tiggsybabes.livejournal.com]

I'm hoping that my new NCT group will be friendlier than the Sheffield one as I enjoyed the NCT in St Albans.