Sit. Stay. Good mama.

[ailbhe]

I am listening to her scream her heart out as Rob tries to soothe her to sleep without a breastfeed. She's been waking three times in the night, in addition to her bedtime and first-thing-on-waking feeds, and eating smaller meals in the daytime. I'm exhausted. This is just since she was sick.

Oh, but it hurts!

I can hear her. Her throat is sore, I can tell, I can hear the rawness of it. She's angry and miserable. Rob is holding her, walking with her - his steps creak and thump above my head, bare boards in that room - and he has Medised, in case it's teething or a cold, and bottles of water for suck-comfort. It is not wrong of me to sit here nursing my now painful milk ducts and listen to her ask for what she had while sick and most nights since. But I can't explain to her that I can't sustain the demand.

Oh gods.

Comments

[mrs-warwick.livejournal.com]

I know how you feel.
Up until about a month ago we had persuaded Rhiannon that one feed in the middle of the night would suffice, but with her recent teething troubles and being ill etc it has gone out the window. Last night it was every two and a half hours.
It is not fun either way.

[ailbhe]

Caved in. Went upstairs to see if he'd checked her nappy. Wet nappy. Strongly suspect thrush and she's in a disposable now. All her cotton nappies - clean and dirty - are being bleached. Tomorrow they'll all be washed at 90C. I'll throw away her polyester liners and cut new ones. If it's thrush, it's not very bad and it's getting better, and I don't have it, and it's not in her mouth - but it might still be thrush, and anyway, sanitising won't hurt.

I can take one more day before I brave the "You're such a stupid parent" doctors. Maybe.

[artela.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

You're not a bad mama... remember that you're no use to Linnea if you're too tired and drained to be a good mama.

oh, and *hugs*

[micheinnz.livejournal.com]

I absolutely second going to a pharmacist. They're wonderful, wonderful people.

And you are not a bad mother. So there.

[tiggsybabes.livejournal.com]

You're not a bad mother *hugs*