Guests and gurgles

[ailbhe]

Gurgles

Linnea is 16 days old today, and was weighed yesterday by my delightful midwife; she is now 10lb 13.5oz, so has gained a pound over her first two weeks. I think that's ridiculous. However, last night she slept over 6 hours in her own bed from midnight to 6:30 am, so that's ok.

I'm only taking about 50mg of codeine a day now, down from 240mg ten days ago. One of my stitches has burst but is healing, and another has come out the normal way because the flesh has knit together again. the gap in my abdominal muslces hurts when I touch it, because I stupidly carried heavy things (the baby, laundry, milkbottles) yesterday because I felt so healthy. Oops.

On Friday, I left the house! We went about 100 yards up the road to the baguette shop and sat at an outside table and had lunch. It was lovely. I can manage Linnea's pushchair fine, though unfolding it one-handed is still beyond me, and the staff were pleased to meet her; they know Rob quite well and saw his picture with her in the paper last week.

She still really likes baths, has progressed to 3-6 month clothes (a very few 0-3 mth things still fit her) and will lie in the sun if we put an umbrella up over her and make sure there's no sunlight reflecting onto her. Warm, breezy shade and cotton romper suits make her quietly contented.

This is partially because I am a failure as a mother and have bought her two soothers (dummies, dodies, whatever your local dialect calls 'em). I hope to make her give them up when I'm able to pick her up without assistance whenever she needs it rather than only a couple of times a day. Meanwhile it's mean to make her lie there crying and unloved when I'm right next to her and should be providing solace. 16 days old isn't the right time to learn emotional independence.

Guests

On Saturday, Mum left and Aoife arrived. Aoife left today. Now Rob and I are alone in the house (apart from Linnea, of course) for the first time since the morning of the first of April. Tonight will be the first night since 31st March that we've been alone, too. I wonder how we'll cope? A lot depends, I suspect, on how Linnea behaves. Tomorrow I will depend on Rob for all the things Mum used to do - lifting Linnea from the moses basket to my lap, carrying laundry, hanging laundry to dry, all that. It's possible that a friend will come and help with housework, though, which would make such a huge difference to my feeling of well-being; I always feel better when I'm not living in chaos.

Rob's mother may come and help one day this week, and my sister arrives on Thursday evening. Hopefully by then I'll be a lot better; it would be nice to get as far as a shop with her.

Comments

[datagoddess.livejournal.com]

This is partially because I am a failure as a mother and have bought her two soothers

Nah, you're just trying to take care of her. And I'm assuming you mean what I call a pacifier. I know plenty of kids when had them when there were very little, who didn't use them for long.

I'm glad you're healing well, and that she's thriving.

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

I have no problem with pacifiers. Kids who want something to suck but don't have them use their thumbs anyway, and they're easier to keep clean than thumbs are. :)

[dr-lovely.livejournal.com]

You sounds like a fantastic mother. ALso, gosh, wasn't she a big baby !! Well done.

[tiggsybabes.livejournal.com]

I was anti dummies until my mum suggested trying Kate with 1 when she was 2 weeks old & wow! she would settle so much better & didn't need to use my boobs for comfort sucking.

Once weaned, she had no interest in putting something in her mouth that didn't generate milk or food, so I wouldn't worry about using one for a few weeks :)

[k425.livejournal.com]

I'm glad the pain's decreasing. And my, what a big girl!

There's nothing wrong with a dummy. I left it too late to introduce one and k425sbug won't take one. If it's being used to keep Linnea calm till you can help her, that sounds exactly right to me.

[nitoda]

I don't know if there is anyone in your area, but in my day, the local National Childbirth Trust branch used to have a PostNatal Support Co-ordinator who could put you in touch with other young mums, and even volunteers whose babies are that little bit older who would love to spend some time with you and Linnea and provide practical help with housework, shopping etc. I suppose it may be a thing of the past now that so many women go back to work so soon after giving birth, but it could be worth investigating.
As you say, it makes a huge difference to your (and therefore to Linnea's) wellbeing when things don't descend into too much chaos. And it is *easy* for chaos to reign when there is a new baby in the house, even if Mum is fully fit and able to cope physically with lifting etc. You have an added problem in that you can't do that, so are an obvious candidate for some prime quality support. Hope you find someone suitable! (You can always return the favour when Linnea is a little older and the next new Mum on the block needs some help!)

Soothers...

[gioiaverdi.livejournal.com]

... may well be a gift from some higher power. They provide comfort, help a child sleep when they are tired and fractious, Are far more hygenic and less damaging to children's teeth than a thumb, and are not difficult to wean a child away from. The only way in which they can be detrimental is dipped in something sweet, or if you let them wander round with the thing in their mouth when they're learning to crawl/walk and I'd guess you're about as likely to either of those as fly.

I wouldn't be in *too* great a hurry to get them out of Linnea's life when you're fitter, since they're a boon for those times when a babe wants to be picked up, and shouldn't be - almost all babies get grizzly and bad-tempered when they're tired, sometimes. Picking them up then can be a genuinely bad thing, and delay the sleep they need to get by making them struggle to stay awake because they're getting Mum or Dad's attention, which they love. A soother then provides them with tangible, comforting (evidence of) care/love without interfering with the natural descent into sleep.

I'm glad to hear you're recovering and hope the improvement recovers apace.

Re: Gurgles

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

nothing wrong with you as a mother, as far as i can see -- soothers / dummies / pacifiers are definitely much better than nothing. i used my thumb instead; i bet babies figure that out by themselves right quick, and i think pacifiers are probably better for them than the thumb, because they're less likely to get dependent on them if used right. you're doing what you can to provide your baby the support she needs. so no beating up on yourself. :)

love the quip about emotional independence at two weeks, *grin*. if you ever write a book, i'll read it, no matter what the subject.

glad you're healing!

[epi-lj.livejournal.com]

I love the phrase, "romper suits." It's so cute!