PMS depilation

[ailbhe]

One of the things PMS does to me is makes me look in the mirror (which is unusual enough) and loathe what I see (very unusual indeed) and particularly loathe my lack of femininity (mm, quite, Ailbhe as masculine, yes indeed) and have a strong urge to depilate the feminine minimum - underarms and lower legs.

Normally, I quash this urge with a strong dose of militant feminism and a strict talking to about setting the example of being comfortable with my body image for my infant daughters. And it passes within twenty-four hours.

This month I succumbed and shaved. And remembered why it's such an awful idea. It felt better for less than two hours, and then it got really annoying, and as it grows back, it's getting worse and worse - the growing-back effect is annoying enough I may do something drastic just to avoid having to tolerate it, like, ew, shaving again.

The only upside is I feel slightly more confident in a skirt or dress which shows my lower legs, and really, that's part of why I DON'T shave normally. Me and my hairy ankles have a right to learn to feel comfortable in public.

Ho hum. Ailbhe, tool of the patriarchy, strikes again.

Comments

[tassie-gal.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean but I still give in. Though in winter less so as hair = warm legs.

[glitzfrau.livejournal.com]

I feel really empowered by the idea that I can shave or not shave at a whim, actually! I haven't shaved anything for over a year, but I like that I could whip it all off as an experiment any time I wanted. It's like a non-permanent body modification, I feel. And look! You learned something about your skin and how it feels in the process!

[ailbhe]

Whim would be grand, but knowing I'm temporarily unusually insecure isn't the same as a whim at all.

[ailbhe]

Whim is what has me shave my head to 1/4 inch, or wear lipstick, in fact.

[the0lady.livejournal.com]

See, I couldn't shave my head on a whim, unless I had whims that lasted five years or more. The flipside is that my leg hair grows equally slowly. So there are benefits either way I guess!

[glitzfrau.livejournal.com]

Heh, snap!

[the0lady.livejournal.com]

My poor ankles have not had license to be hairy for more than a few wintry days at a time since they were 14... Solution: eschew skirts so nobody can see I'm a tool of the patriarchy. Yep, it's exactly as right on as it sounds.

I *have* had gloriously hairy armpits since January, though. I've developed what I can only imagine is an intensely disturbing habit for onlookers, stroking the fluffy fuzzy goodness with a far away expression.

I'd better not get hairy legs, or god knows what I'll be playing with in public next. *g*

[ailbhe]

*snigger*

[the0lady.livejournal.com]

Actually, now that I think about it, that's why I like long hair, too: it feels nice. Fuzzy armpits and long silky locks feel nice, smooth satiny legs feel nice, prickly hairy legs don't feel nice (mine, that is - the quality of other people's hair may very well differ).

I think there's a tactile thing going on there, in addition to the daily "feminism vs. conditioning: the showdown!" battle.

[clarahippy.livejournal.com]

I let my leg hair grow completely over the winter and became quite happy with it. First time ever since it is really quite dark. However I did buckle once the sun came out and I found myself avoiding skirts or dresses which would show the hairiness off.

I definitely feel more pressure to shave from other women than from men, in fact in my personal sphere of life there is zero male pressure to shave. I also couldn't care less what men thought but I shaved because I knew I would be judged by female friends and colleagues otherwise. To be honest this is what makes me sad about hair removal and why I experimented with stopping it over the summer. I find this really really sad.

I do shave underarms but that is purely because I find it more physically comfortable because otherwise I feel quite sweaty (probably TMI sorry!).

[hilarityallen.livejournal.com]

I similarly have found other women pressure me more to shave. I do tend to shave legs if I'm wearing a skirt, but most of the time I wear trousers. And I feel quite bad that I give in to the pressure to shave, as I feel it should be my choice, and not a matter of feeling I can't deal with the social consequences.

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

This is a thing that bothers me. I haven't removed my leg hair since I was, ooh, 16 except for once when I was in a play. Yet I still won't wear skirts that show any leg, because I will be heckled in the street by young men who think they have a right to control my body, so I move my clothing choices around them and they control it after all because if I have to come down from half a panic attack every time I go out I will never achieve anything and then I will still be giving my time to bunny-torturing Gillette. Why can't they all just leave us alone?

[ailbhe]

I *do* go out in public, exposing my hairy legs for all to see, but it's nerve-wracking. I think I attract less comment because of having two small children with me though.

[redshira.livejournal.com]

I feel like a bit of a cop-out with my leg hair, because as I only ever wear skirts which are ankle-length or longer, I'm not exactly risking anything by forgoing the depilation. Having said that, I do leave my house as a 21 stone spotty faced makeupless woman who's very clearly 3 or 4 sizes bigger from the waist down, so I think I get to keep my feminist card for challenging patriarchal expectations.

[the0lady.livejournal.com]

Ugh, I so hear you. Whatever we do - or don't do - we're reacting to the patriarchal framework. It blows donkeys.

[rmc28]

I hear you. I used to wax regularly once I had a job, because it was nicer than slicing up my ankles regularly. Then when I got pregnant I couldn't be bothered - I thought if I was sporting a ginormous bump that was femininity enough (also, too tired to organise waxing sessions).

I still haven't done any hair removal since motherhood. But I find myself only ever wearing long skirts because OMG people might see my dark hairy legs. I semi-defiantly wore sleeveless tops on holiday last week, with my hairy armpits and defied anyone to comment (no-one did, but it was a stress in case they did).

My first pressure to shave my legs was from a female friend in air cadets, when we were all in shorts on a trip to RAF Larnaca.

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

I saw your hairy legs when we were helping Mobbsy move house last summer and thought "Yes! It's not just me!" :)

[rmc28]

:) and that is one of the best reasons I should continue to not care what people think, when I have the effort so to do.

[redshira.livejournal.com]

Thank you thank you for this timely reminder of why I shouldn't bother shaving my legs. I used to feel that, given the documented revulsion most healthcare providers feel when confronted by a fat fat fatty, if I'm going to show people my shockingly huge malformed lipoedemic legs I should at least try not to disgust them further by having the legs covered in black wiry PCOS hair; the last time I shaved my legs was for embryo transfer last August, and the time before that was for egg retrieval last June (other people shave their legs for entirely different babymaking occasions :P). I didn't bother for the fertility clinic appointment in May; I wore knee-length socks and thought "sod it, they're there to look at my ovaries, not my legs." I was considering shaving them for the nice feel of smooth legs but you've just reminded me what a waste of energy it is just for a couple of hours of smoothness before the wires start poking out of my legs again.

[sashajwolf.livejournal.com]

I've always felt like a bit of an alien on this one - I grew up somewhere where shaving and not shaving were both equally normal and not commented upon, and didn't become aware that it could even be an issue until I took part in a US exchange at the age of 17, at which point I was completely boggled that anyone could possibly care what a woman did with her leg and armpit hair. I've read enough and lived in the UK long enough now to understand it a bit better, but it's still odd. I have always shaved, and I go through periods of feeling that I should stop just because it is expected here, but in the end I've always decided to keep doing what I did when I lived somewhere where no-one cared, because that is what feels authentically me and because it's a quick and easy way of getting rid of dead skin cells, which make my legs itchy otherwise.

[epi-lj.livejournal.com]

A surprising number of my friends have made almost this exact same post recently. I think this is an exceedingly common thing for women to wrestle with when the seasons shift hotter, even if they're very politically savvy women with compelling reasons to want to fight that. Try not to be too critical of yourself for it!

[artela.livejournal.com]

I admit to shaving my pits, but only once the warmer weather arrives because it makes me less hot and sweaty there. The legs, well I occasionally get the urge to make them all soft and hairless, but most of the time not, and as I wear trousers or long skirts nearly all the time (and I am blessed with non-hairy ankles) no-one outside the immediate family would ever know either way anyway :-)

The only hairs I tackle for vanity reasons are the annoying ones that seem to have appeared under my chin as I've got older.

[(Anonymous)]

I haven't shaved more than extremely occasionally for years, and I've *never* had any adverse comment on it. The only comment I've ever had was from a friend expressing mild surprise because I *had* shaved my armpits, lol. I mostly wear knee length shorts and skirts in the summer.

Sometimes I think about it - I was considering depilatory creams the other day - but it's too loaded a decision and I find the idea of the different message I'd be giving out more agravating than being hairy.

Plus, jeez, I'm *really* lazy ;-)

Alison

[ailbhe]

I haven't had adverse comments since I left office jobs, but anyway you're a lot less hairy than I am.

I definitely think being older has a lot to do with having fewer comments made - even five years ago I got more remarks about it than I do now.

with age comes peace

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

*nod*. one of the joys of being fat, hairy, and over 50 is that almost nobody ever treats me like a sex object anymore. and the few that do have to deal with my well-honed, exceptionally snarky come-backs. it's pretty damn cool.

[gingerpiggy.blogspot.com (from livejournal.com)]

I shave but then I'm also extremely scabby. Shaving "gives" me the confidence (?) to get my scabby legs out for a good dose of sunshine. Plus, I must admit, I do actually enjoy it which I find very odd. I've noticed when I shave in the bath, it feels physical-self nurturing which whilst I know is completely rubbish is a nice feeling for a scabby woman. I never used to shave and subsequently never wore anything shorter than ankle length skirts which I handily used to cover my shame at being fat. Now I'm feeding for England and profoundly, deeply amazed at what my body is doing, I've even bought shorts! Which I have worn in public, proudly displaying my scabby, but shaved legs. I do on occasion use facial scrubs and I pluck moustache and beard hairs daily. That's mainly for the fun of it though... I like squishing spots too.

I love your hairy legs!

[flybabydizzy.livejournal.com]

When I was growing up I was not aware of any woman who shaved any parts. In the 70's I dont think anyone cared much. As I used to sail dinghies a lot, I used to say I needed the hair as thermal protection in the cold water!
80s I'd shave summertime only. I stopped shaving when I damaged my knees so had to strap them up, so had to wear long skirts or trousers.
I must admit I've been considering shaving legs this summer. I can't wear much other than trainers or Clarks flat sandals, or my knees play up, so can I really be bothered? As a few others have said, I also am old and round, so why should I bother. I had abuse yelled at me walking through Cheltenham this evening for being a fat old woman. I may as well be a fat hairy old woman!
I appreciate it is a much more difficult situation for younger women, especially in the workplace.