Friends: A Moral Compass

[ailbhe]

Is is stalking to get someone's phone number from whois to wish them a happy birthday?

Comments

[nitoda]

I guess it might depend on the relationship you have with them. I wouldn't mind someone I know doing this, for example, but it would be a bit icky for someone I don't actually know to do it.

[serene]

Yep, this.

[firecat]

I don't think it's "stalking" if they know me, but I don't think I would like having it done to me, either. I'd prefer the person get in touch with me by whatever channels we usually use.

[almadsfeika]

*nods* Agree with nitoda here, too. Would rather people did not use random methods to get hold of my phone number. I'd probably rather be contacted through a more public method, like my facebook or email.

Hope I'm not getting the wrong end of the stick here - don't know what whois is.

[bens_dad]

Geeky, but stalking.

It is like looking up a sole-trader's business address at Companies House. If they had meant the world to phone them up to wish them "Happy Birthday" they would have put their number on the website itself.
The whois address isn't like a Live Journal or Dream Width profile contact link.

There are people who I would be OK with doing this to me (though I'd wish I'd made a better way available) but yes I think it is stalking.

------------------

If it was a personal domain you may not have to include a contact address/phone number. My .me.uk whois registration says
The registrant is a non-trading individual who has opted to have their address omitted from the WHOIS service
- but it took me a couple of months to figure out how to do that.

[pne]

I think it's a bit odd, yes.

And from a data protection point of view, using data for a purpose other than the one it was originally intended for (contacting the domain owner about the domain). And the number there might even be a number other than the one they would prefer social calls on.

This, along with "if they had intended you to have their number so you could call them and wish them a happy birthday, they would have given it to you already [or let you obtain it from mutual acquaintances]".

Disclaimer: I have been tempted, at times, to obtain people's addresses through whois. I don't think I've written to anyone that way, though, because I think that would be skeevy.

[da-pol.livejournal.com]

I'd say that depends on whether or not you know then and whether you're somebody who "should" have their number.

I mean, if it were me you were doing this for then I'd classify it as ingenuity.

If it were a random person who doesn't know you from Adam then yes, it's stalking.

I'd say that if you consider each other friends then no, it's not stalking.

[ljgeoff.livejournal.com]

only if they would be creeped out by you having their number.

[beckyl.livejournal.com]

Much as above - would this person be expecting/like to receive a birthday phone call from you?

As I understand it, part of the definition of stalking is that it is unwelcome (IANAL, etc.) If not unwelcome, probably not stalking.

[sidheag.livejournal.com]

Yes.

[hfnuala.livejournal.com]

It depends on how you think the person would react if you asked them for their phone number.

Also, I don't know about your friend but I deliberately have old info in whois.

[ai731.livejournal.com]

I think it's ingenuity :)

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

I want to say no, because I think you would mean well, but I know that there are some mostly harmless people whom I would feel invaded by a birthday phone call from.

[nwhyte]

IAWTC

[flybabydizzy.livejournal.com]

I think that if you know that if you were to ask the person for their phone number, they'd gladly give it, and be pleased to hear from you, then fair enough. Also, would you feel OK if they were to do the same thing to contact you?

[the0lady.livejournal.com]

I'd just ask them, or a mutual friend who is close to you both. The pleasure of you wanting to wish them a happy birthday would not be diminished by it not being a surprise.

[ruthi.livejournal.com]

Context matters.