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Well, that was new
Aug. 5th, 2010 09:29 pmToday was Rob's last day of paternity leave. He's back at work tomorrow.
So this afternoon we walked into town, the five of us. And G. I strapped Astrid into the Didymos and Rob packed the nappy bag and took the hugest buggy in the world for when I got tired. I made it almost all the way into town before I needed to lay her down in the pram.
In town we stopped by Altimus to pick up a repaired pannier, and I was reminded that I need new orthotics as soon as my hormones settle down and give me my skeleton back. I also need new glasses, as soon as ditto my eyes.
We went to the artificial beach at the Oracle shopping centre and Linnea and Emer made sandcastles and sand angels and sand pits and sand sand, while the three adults ate donuts and drank coffee. Rob brought Astrid's buggy across the river to buy the coffee and my emotional umbilical cord twanged horribly - it turns out that that's just too far, and he was gone just too long, for that to be comfortable yet. No doubt as I settle into a leaving-the-house lifestyle that will fade. In all other respects I am far more relaxed about her than about either of the other two.
Then we walked home, waving G goodbye. And had dinner. And that's the end of this strange, new thing:
A newborn period, a full two weeks, where the baby's father is around and deeply involved in her care and the other norms of parenting. Rob has carried her more than I, over the past two weeks; changed more nappies; had more burps urped over his shoulder. He has fed more children, supervised more toilet trips, and wrestled more tshirts over uncooperative heads. He has also done a lot more laundry.
At no other period of our lives has that been true unless I was actually confined to bed - and usually then we had someone else come to help. Because none of Rob's other jobs, since we had a baby, allowed chunks of time off this way, without demanding his availability even when he was supposedly off, and making him feel guilty for taking that time - guilty or as though his job was actually at risk, or sometimes both.
This new thing is partially because Rob is more assertive now than he was 6 years ago, so he made it clear he wouldn't tolerate that sort of thing this time, and partially because his new employers actually are just plain nicer to their staff.
I am deeply grateful for this rest period; I think the next two weeks will be pretty tiring, like the first little while in any new job where you have to learn the procedures and habits anew. But I managed it twice before, after a fashion, anyway.
We'll see how I do. There's always the plug-the-TV-back-in option.
So this afternoon we walked into town, the five of us. And G. I strapped Astrid into the Didymos and Rob packed the nappy bag and took the hugest buggy in the world for when I got tired. I made it almost all the way into town before I needed to lay her down in the pram.
In town we stopped by Altimus to pick up a repaired pannier, and I was reminded that I need new orthotics as soon as my hormones settle down and give me my skeleton back. I also need new glasses, as soon as ditto my eyes.
We went to the artificial beach at the Oracle shopping centre and Linnea and Emer made sandcastles and sand angels and sand pits and sand sand, while the three adults ate donuts and drank coffee. Rob brought Astrid's buggy across the river to buy the coffee and my emotional umbilical cord twanged horribly - it turns out that that's just too far, and he was gone just too long, for that to be comfortable yet. No doubt as I settle into a leaving-the-house lifestyle that will fade. In all other respects I am far more relaxed about her than about either of the other two.
Then we walked home, waving G goodbye. And had dinner. And that's the end of this strange, new thing:
A newborn period, a full two weeks, where the baby's father is around and deeply involved in her care and the other norms of parenting. Rob has carried her more than I, over the past two weeks; changed more nappies; had more burps urped over his shoulder. He has fed more children, supervised more toilet trips, and wrestled more tshirts over uncooperative heads. He has also done a lot more laundry.
At no other period of our lives has that been true unless I was actually confined to bed - and usually then we had someone else come to help. Because none of Rob's other jobs, since we had a baby, allowed chunks of time off this way, without demanding his availability even when he was supposedly off, and making him feel guilty for taking that time - guilty or as though his job was actually at risk, or sometimes both.
This new thing is partially because Rob is more assertive now than he was 6 years ago, so he made it clear he wouldn't tolerate that sort of thing this time, and partially because his new employers actually are just plain nicer to their staff.
I am deeply grateful for this rest period; I think the next two weeks will be pretty tiring, like the first little while in any new job where you have to learn the procedures and habits anew. But I managed it twice before, after a fashion, anyway.
We'll see how I do. There's always the plug-the-TV-back-in option.