We didn't sleep much last night and this morning we were about to go to Tiggers Toddlers when I realised I couldn't find my money. I spent ages looking for it and eventually found it where Rob had moved it - he'd put it in a Safe Place (it was notes, so this was sensible. Not telling me was not). So I left late and stomped to Tiggers uphill (barefoot in the snow, etc) crying because I'd skipped eating in favour of looking for the money I needed to get into Tiggers - 50p.
Oh - today I chose to take Linnea in the tiny disposable buggy and Emer in the sling, and it was very easy, so we'll do that in future. I really need a buggy for the bag, so I need to do something about my nappy bag. Trouble is that I really do need a change of clothes for Emer and Linnea, and two nappies each, and wipes, and a changemat... unless I decide to only ever do planned activities and never stay out all day? Urgh.
At Tiggers I ended up talking to someone else about home educating ("I heard you only have to do three hours a day!" "Actually, you don't have to do anything." "But then you're not educating them, are you?" and "It's friends I worry about." Making friends is not a problem for Linnea and I don't see why it should be in the future. It was never a problem for me, either, until I started school...) and also ate two ginger biscuits and drank a cup of instant coffee.
Then we got the bus into town. We met a black man at the bus-stop and had an interesting conversation about immigration and racism and Ireland, and then I carried Emer and the buggy upstairs and Linnea climbed herself and we sat at the top. The driver was arsey when we were slow to get off though because he hadn't parked properly and wanted us to hurry because the person behind him couldn't pass. At the terminus. I believe but was too stressed to confirm that he addressed me as "Lady."
In town we went for lunch, then to the library to replace the lost cards. That cost me a fiver and Linnea 2.50, which is annoying. However, I did get a copy of "Three shoes, one sock and no hairbrush," which I hope will shed rays of light on my situation and make me feel much better. The library was a godsend; they have a dreadful computer program that tells stories for tiny tots, so I set it going, sat in a chair in front of it with my arm around Linnea and Emer in the sling, and dozed. When the story was over we read books and then took a book each and headed home.
That was hard. I spent most of the time either crying or trying not to cry. I am far, far too tired. I may even be getting depressed, which I could honestly do without. I am trying really hard to get out of the house every day, but it's hard when I'm tired and the house is a pit and there's nothing sorted out for dinner and Rob can't help because he's doing overtime or has only had 6-7 hours sleep or has a headcold or whatever. He honestly does get flattened by things that I carry on through, but it's hard as hell not to resent it.
I told a whole bunch of Charlie and Lola and Linnea stories and we got the bus home on the return ticket, which was good. Then Linnea played in the library, Emer dozed in the dinign room, and I read LJ and email.
I have paid for a replacement wallet for half the high-street price. I hope it's all it's cracked up to be. I have replaced almost all of the missing cards. I still need to call the Boots Advantage Card people and the NHS free prescriptions people.
Rob came home early, at the time which used to be "on time" before all this overwork started. That's good. He's sorting dinner out, which is wonderful. Now if only we can all have baths before 9 pm, and get laundry sorted out properly, we'll be laughing.
He has overtime starting at 8.
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