The morning of the day

We got a thunderstorm, complete with heavy rain, in the middle of the night. The world feels much fresher for it. I think Linnea slept better, too; I know I did, weird nightmares about dinosaurs, boats, flamethrowers and political intrigue notwithstanding.

Rob has taken Linnea to visit his parents for the weekend, so I am home alone. I took the bus into town with them, got out at the stop by Mothercare, failed to find the maternity pyjamas I wanted to buy for hospital, walked to the bus-stop, got the bus to the library, realised I didn't have my library card, and was nonetheless able to check out three books I'd reserved, and half a dozen new ones. I don't usually get much chance to browse the adult books while I'm there, so today was a real treat. I did cheat by going to the Orange Prize shortlist shelf and seeing which ones my pet assistant librarian had given good reviews, but that counts too! And I took out Wilkie Collins "The Woman In White" because I've read books where characters refer to it often enough that I'd like to know what it says.

Then I got the bus home from the library.

It's a bit irritating, getting buses everywhere instead of just walking but at least the buses stop in convenient places and come very frequently and I have all-day travel on them for two pounds fifty. I couldn't go anywhere yesterday because my pelvis hurt too much to walk to a bus-stop, but today I think I did quite well. I hoped to get as far as John Lewis to check out sunscreens for pushchairs and prams (you can now get what I lacked with Linnea - a black mesh cover for the pushchair with SPF30 or so. Nowhere was stocking them when Linnea was little so we did what we could with draped muslins), but the prospect of walking that far was too daunting. I can't afford to aggravate this pain at all.

I got home at noon and did online banking, bill-paying, and budgeting. We've overspent on our grocery budget this month, mainly because I flaked on planning menus. I'll have to plan harder the next few weeks so we have enough to freeze half every meal, ready for the newborn. That will conveniently "save" a little money for when we are living with Rob's statutory paternity pay, too.

I'm tempted to order roasting joints and roast three or four of them at once, at gas mark 4, and freeze them sliced.

The guardian angel

While in the library, I saw Esme. Yes, Esme the health visitor who came every week to listen to me talk and cry. Esme who chased doctors and midwives and consultants for me. Esme who gave advice and told me what a fabulous parent I am. Esme who loves all the babies best, every single one, and took more than six months to retire because she didn't want to leave until they had a replacement for her - but who could possibly replace Esme?

I babbled incoherently at her and when she was gone I cried.

Esme.

Happy happy happy

I am strangely, entirely, physically, blissfully, abnormally happy. I spent three hours or so on the phone to my mother, I ate some redcurrants and sunflower seeds and pumpkin seeds (I don't think I like pumpkin seeds), and now I have decaf coffee with sugar and rice milk and marble cake.

I'm listening to music on the laptop, it's much cooler than it has been indoors and out, any little bits of tidying I've done had stayed done, I have a big pile of books awaiting me, the only person I need to please for dinner is myself...

Aha! I feel rested. I have rested this afternoon. I have had no responsibilities. I have had no-one to consider but myself. I have acheived a few small things but had no major unachieved goals.

It's like some kind of really rejuvenating bath. Possibly a jacuzzi.

All to myself.

when baby runs

when baby runs is now available from lulu.com. As they have changed their distribution systems, it doesn't have an ISBN yet; I thought sales of before baby walks would pay for it but the price has gone up considerably. They're both £4.37.

Shipping: International Economy shipping is about 4 US dollars (GBP2.36). I can get a bulk discount so might, if enough people order, be able to get books to people in the UK and Ireland for £6 and £6.50 sterling respectively. The shipping discount they used to offer appears to be no longer available, so I can't sell 'em for a fiver any more. I still have a few before baby walks for a fiver though.

Pre-orders of when baby runs: 10 at 11:10 Sunday [enough for a bulk order because of lower shipping for multiple copies! I will be plascing an order at some stage on Sunday]

[Memo to self: also 3 before baby walks, which is easy.]