Tired. Gnurgh.

Sleep interrupted by frantic nipple-gnawing machine for hours. Rob almost late to work. Porridge boiled over. Linnea's rash has spread but is still not bothering her in the least. Incredibly stinky, runny nappy. No nap until 18:00 - so I woke her at 19:00 and I had to use chocolate to get her to stay awake; every other time she just shut her eyes and slept harder. A mouthful of chocolate woke herenough to eat dinner. Then she threw a mini-tantrum over brushing her teeth, but we fixed that with a teddy.

Please let her sleep more tonight. Or at least have briefer wakings. I have spent the day in a daze. I want to comment on the recent media thing about "staying at home to mind your children isn't tantamount to neglect" and why I think it's a nice counterbalance to the studies about home-raised children being undersocialised and underchallenged. But I'm too tired.

The withdrawal method

Linnea is asleep. I have taken painkillers for my mangled nipples.

I fed her until she was furious at the lack of milk, and called Rob, and we watched her thrashing about for a while, and eventually she allowed me to lay a hand on her chest. Then she allowed me to hold her hand, instead. I sat by the bed and held her hand until she seemed to snore; I withdrew my hand and her eyes popped open, so I laid it back on her head and she dropped off for real. When I removed my hand again she turned over violently and was obviously asleep.

It's the first time she hasn't been nursed to sleep in about a year. I can't decide whether I was being "mean" or not. I know I couldn't bear the pain any more.

The sooner this illness is over the better for everyone.