Uses Rude Words and is About Babies: Won't somebody think of the children?

A Novel Insight into the Shit Paradigm: How advanced nappy-filling techniques lead to a multidisciplinary approach to user-interface development in Baby-Wipes Packaging

It's simple. Formula-fed babies shit more tidily and are more likely to be wiped with mainstream wipes. Breastfed babies are more likely to use eco-friendly wipes. Eco-friendly wipes are a lot harder to ge tout of the packet. This makes No Sense Whatsoever until you realise that taking 6 wipes in a hurry because of bad packet design and personal emergency *costs more money*.

Communication and the use of high-velocity mashed potato: An inquiry into the manifestations of frustration in a high-carb environment

Carbs are stickier than proteins, so they make better missiles. When frustrated, take it out on the adult who has to clean up after you.

Perhaps academia isn't for me.