Mother's Day

I went to buy cards today for some of the mothers in our lives. It was hard work. They all say "Oh Mother dear / and did you hear / how much we all love you / For now we know / You helped us grow / into oak trees tall and true" or "Mummy is a fluffy bunny, we all love her coz she's so yummy" or "Yo da funky momster you am da k3wlest" or similar. Bleagh. I really truly ought to take to writing some of this nauseating stuff and sending it to card companies until one of them decides to pay me.