I absolutely flat-out refuse to let this kill me

[ailbhe]

I am not going to die when any rational assessment of my life shows that it is awesome and on the brink of being the most awesome it could ever be, and only going to get more awesome.

So would the voices in my hindbrain please, please shut up.

Comments

[kalmn]

your hindbrain is a big liar. (so is mine, a lot. hindbrains, not so helpful.)

not only is your life awesome and going to get awesomer, so are you. i have high hopes to meet you one day and tell you that in person.

[br3nda]

you are on my list of awesome people.

[birke]

Yes. Your life does sound awesome and the voices that are telling you it ain't so are clearly wrong.

[sfred]

I'm glad to read this.
Thinking if you and hoping things improve a lot, very soon.

[serene]

Your tenacity will save you when your brain chemicals are conspiring against you. I will be glad to remind you often of how awesome you are. Because you are. I love and admire you so much.

[ailbhe]

Thank you :)

[datagoddess.livejournal.com]

Dear hindbrain voices: Please shut up now. You lie and that's unacceptable. You are no longer needed in Ailbhe's head, now go away.

Dear Ailbhe: Many *hugs* and lots of affirmation that you are worthwhile, worthy of support and love, and not a bother. Nor are you being silly by asking for help.

[ai731.livejournal.com]

Seconding this. Also the lack of daylight.

Taras has this theory that the demons (metaphorical or otherwise) fight harder to survive when they feel threatened by you working to banish them. He would say that because you now have a plan in place to get the mental health help you need to start banishing the demons, theyr'e fighting back. Dunno if this helps any...

[ailbhe]

I got a real boost from the sunshine reflecting off the snow, and then there was thaw and fog. I bet that didn't help.

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

Go you for realizing this!

*hugs*

[cherade9.livejournal.com]

If it's any help you aren't alone. I'm sat up while the Boys are asleep, watching Heroes and trying to ignore the crap in my head. Thinking of you. We'll still be both here in the morning..

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

Along those lines, ask your doc if Vitamin D3 could work for you... it helps some people who have SAD.

[tchemgrrl.livejournal.com]

Stupid hindbrain is wrecking the lovely time the rest of yourself could be having. You *will* be able to teach that boor some manners--you're doing it now, getting help. That's fabulous. And you have a whole Internet-full of people on your side, for what it's worth.

If there's any way an American in a stomach flu-laden house can help, please let me know.

[1ngi.livejournal.com]

This too will pass.

I hope it passes really bloody quickly.

[piqueen.livejournal.com]

Hang in there - there's always another dawn.

[epi-lj.livejournal.com]

YES. Hang in there. Re-read this post if you need to, because it's very true. And as the comments have said, chemistry and weather can be horrible triggers. :/

[jentifred.livejournal.com]

{{{hugs}}}

[trinker.livejournal.com]

I am not going to die when any rational assessment of my life shows that it is awesome and on the brink of being the most awesome it could ever be, and only going to get more awesome.


Your life, with all its struggles, is awesome. You are awesome. Your three children are awesome. Your husband is awesome, and I have watched all of this in your life get more and more awesome with each passing year. Let's find out what's around the next bend!

[juliet]

I don't get SAD, and I really, really noticed the snow/not-snow change yesterday (which was the first time I've done very-early-dog-walking since the thaw). I'm *shattered* in a way that I just wasn't before Xmas, despite extra sleep over the break.

So, yeah, concurring that there's been a real change there, which may well have been not-helpful for your brain chemistry. Full-spectrum lightbulbs? Or start off just trying one in a room that you spend a lot of time in?

If you're a fan of either bananas or turkey, both of those have tryptophan (a serotonin precursor) which can help boost your mood. Bananas in porridge?

Also seconding the idea that doing something to banish the demons can have the short-term effect of making them worse. But the long-term effect will be positive, and you are being very strong and awesome in taking those steps.

[mrs-redboots.livejournal.com]

And you know it! That's the sort of affirmation you need to keep on making; your hindbrain can't win when you keep shouting it down like that!

The sun is shining today, so I hope that is helping.

[the-changeling.livejournal.com]

Can I just speak up for the voices in your hind brain for a moment, please?

Those voices are your history of plain and fear. They are scared they are going to be left in the dark, alone, and in pain, as all the good things now mean they can be ignored. they don't want to be consigned to endless pain, again.

They don't need shut up. they need heard, and healed and comforted. They need loved. They are the voices, in their own wya, that kept you safe, when you were in the most danger.

They are a part of you, and they need love and respect. And to be told it's okay, they don't need to shout and scream, and try to push through. You can hear them, you know they are there, you know they are scared, and you will help them out, and make it better, with help from others.

So they could they bank down, and sleep a little more softly. You will get them healing but only when you aren't having to mangle them down at the same time!

All of you deserves love and support, and healing and safety - all of you! :-)

[hitchhiker.livejournal.com]

*hug*

[pauamma]

I was about to make faces at them in an attempt to distract them, but in light of this, maybe I shouldn't.