I spoke up today

[ailbhe]

A man on the bus, in a hurry to get off, first muttered a lot, rudely but distinctly (ie his words were not at all slurred, though he stank of drink), about the people on the bus - including "another fucking buggy." He was standing behind me; I was standing with Astrid in the sling, so I was holding two points. I was also trying to allow a buggy-pushing woman space to maneuver off the bus.

I could have leaned over and onto the woman with the buggy and allowed him to squeeze through, and if she hadn't been getting out at that stop I might have. But he was really annoying me and being rude about the women with buggies and slightly more subtly rude about the two [learning impaired?] adults, who were impeccably behaved in spite of one being so distressed that he went from rocking to biting his hand. The little old ladies and children and grandpas were all impeccably behaved too, making way, offering each other (and me) seats, staying quiet and not invading personal space more than essential.

He put his hand on my upper arm, said "Excuse me" rudely (good trick) and pushed me sideways. I said - actually I'm not sure what I said first; it might have been Hey or it might have been Do you mind or it might have been How dare you. I said something, and he said "I SAID Excuse me," and I responded "You shoved me and the baby. Excuse me doesn't make that ok."

A few people checked I wasn't hurt, after he got off; I told them "no, not hurt at all, but that doesn't make it ok to shove people."

I'd never have had the courage to do that before I had children. It is not ok to shove people.

Also, everyone he'd been rude about said "He was being very rude, wasn't he?" to each other a few times, and went back to being extra-nice to each other, in that pensioners-and-friends way one gets on non-commuter type buses.

Comments

[br3nda]

I really like that you pushed back (metaphorically)

I also like the non commuter bus. Pre baby I would commute at noncommutter times and thus meet interesting people, have conversations, practise languages other than english, and generally have a relaxing ride to work. I miss that.

[gool_duck]

Go you. I read this and I approve of your actions and disapprove of rude shoving man.

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

Go you for speaking up!

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

Go you! *cheers*

[the-changeling.livejournal.com]

*round of applause*

*hot sweet comforting brew*

[helenprev.livejournal.com]

Well done! You're an inspiration (again)!

[quentinwrites.livejournal.com]

Well done on sticking up for yourself! :o)

[cat63.livejournal.com]

What a dreadful man! Good for you for standing up to him.

It's not even OK to touch strangers without permission, never mind shove them :-(

I'm glad you weren't hurt, but it must have been distressing for you.

[pashazade.livejournal.com]

More people should do this. Thank you.

Incidentally, the other day I went out with a friend who has a baby about Astrid's age and I took the pram for most of the day to give her a break. I was surprised at how conscious I was of the restrictions on my movement and how nervous of other people's reactions it made me, especially in crowded places.

[ai731.livejournal.com]

Well done you!

[ailbhe]

In the close circumstances of the late, overcrowded bus, touching people was inevitable, and I don't mind that so much. I also never felt unsafe, because the general atmosphere was such that other passengers would not have condoned an attack on me had he been moved to do so. But he was very smelly.

[ailbhe]

I was surprised by how impolite I felt, doing it. There's a social expectation within me that I will politely put up with that sort of thing.

[ailbhe]

I bought new needles for your sewing machine today.

[cat63.livejournal.com]

In the close circumstances of the late, overcrowded bus, touching people was inevitable,

Fair enough - and if it's by accident in that sort of circumstance, I wouldn't complain either - I meant more generally and on purpose, but I wasn't very clear - sorry.

But he was very smelly.

Ugh.

[1ngi.livejournal.com]

*cheers*

I really do know how hard it is to speak up when it is required. I still find it hard. And finding the right words at the time is the toughy.

[hitchhiker.livejournal.com]

good for you!

[merryhouse.livejournal.com]

hear hear! Just because you don't have a penis doesn't mean people who do can be rude to you ;-)

[ailbhe]

Being rude to rude people is hard, though.

[radegund.livejournal.com]

Good! Good for you! I hope he remembers it.

[micheinnz.livejournal.com]

GO YOU!!!! I love you so hard for this.