Jul. 13th, 2011

ailbhe: (Default)
Emer and I picked blackberries as I hung out the washing this morning. Then I trimmed the hair at the back of my neck (I can't see it but it feels better...) and we made a clafouti. Our visitors arrived while we were doing that so I supervised two four-year-olds making clafouti, which was fun. Linnea got two new books in the post; I think her birthday money is almost gone now. Most of the day went well enough but there was a problem later on...

I think where things really went wrong was Astrid's nap. I fell asleep too and when I woke I was shivering and cranky, probably hungry. Anyway, Linnea went all Linnea-ish and ended up doing a sort of keep-your-distance fighting dance with fists and kicks, not aimed to hit me just aimed to keep me away. And Astrid crawled in and got kicked in the face. Linnea was horrified and ran into the garden furious with herself and in considerable mental pain, visibly, but I couldn't do anything about it because of calming Astrid down. Astrid's gums bled a little but not much and I called a friend and then NHS direct and it was fine, she calmed down quickly and less than 15 minutes after the incident she was playing happily. Linnea took ages to come down from her fright though.

Bedtime was more fraught than I'd hoped, but they had a bedtime story read by Rob over the miracle of online video chat, and I sang them to sleep. I actually had to put Astrid to bed and then go back and cuddle with Linnea for a bit and help her calm down again, but it was ok really.

And then I came down and sat in front of a laptop feeling weird and numb. I am lonely and tired and I can't figure out how to read a book any more; I don't feel able to get into them as I am always alert to be interrupted and usually with justification. It's very sad really because books used to be my absolute THING. But I haven't read a fiction book for ages, unless reading it aloud to someone, and I've hardly read much non-fiction either. If I sit down with a book though I get all... antsy and fidgety and can't get into it. I think I might need more leisure time in my life.

And to do that, we need to continue my improvements in re kids' bedtimes. If they get enough sleep everything becomes more possible.

Rejoice

Jul. 13th, 2011 11:09 pm
ailbhe: (Default)
Rejoice, rejoice
Sing out with all your voice
Be glad that you're alive and you can sing

Rejoice, reclaim
The joy in every day
And revel in the world that you are in

Rejoice, renew
Your faith in what you do
Take pleasure in the small and unimportant

Rejoice, recall
That some can't sing at all
And lost their faith and love and life in torment

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