Good drying weather/a fine cat-fight night

I've hung a couple of loads of laundry out and some is already dry. I'm wearing a short skirt, tshirt and sandals. The girls are in dresses. They spent some time being superheroes in the September sunshine. Shortly we will have lunch of crusty home-made bread and other wholesome things like people in magazines eat. They are clean and cheerful and their hair shines.

From all this, I deduce that the worst of the PMS is over.

However, I spent money not wisely but too well last month and now need to decide whether to use my fripperies savings for mundane everyday things, or what. I think I will a little bit and aim to repay myself next month. I found an old Post Office savings book last night and realised I saved everything I had as a teenager; I saved all the time, weird amounts like £2.78 and things. I can trust myself to spend a little now.

As of Christmas 2003, my Post Office account had €7.80 in it.

I ought to photograph my dining table more often. In-season British apples, homemade crust white bread, hand-painted Zimbabwean tablecloth, jars of organic honey. If I took photos at the right times, I could really pretend I lived in a magazine.

Calf-bound Shakespeare on the Queen Anne chair, football sock on the mantelpiece.

Walking away is not news

It's not even surprising. What's surprising is when people don't walk away.

I took Linnea out of her dance class early today because she was being disruptive, which isn't fair on the other children, especially the one supposedly partnering her. On the way home, she ran away a few times, and around a corner out of sight twice. The first time I put her in the buggy for a bit, the second, I sat down with her, next to a building.

We sat there until she was ready to walk home properly again.

Chasing her is miserable. It's difficult, and stressful, and sometimes frightening - when she's wild, how do I know her usual good sense will kick in in time to stop her actual running off the kerb? - and holding her hand tight enough to stop her running off feels like it might be crushing something and holding her lower or upper arm tight enough to stop her running off leaves a reddish mark for a while. I don't think it's bruised her.

So I refused to do it, and we just sat. Luckily I had seven shiny conkers for Emer to play with, so she was quite happy. I didn't give Linnea anything to play with. I refused to stand up and look in my backpack for her cardigan, either.

Eventually her need for the toilet forced her to agree to walk without brute force coercion.

It was miserable. A thirty-minute amble took an hour and a quarter. I'm miserable.

But when we got home I talked to her, and apologised for losing my temper, and she apologised for running away and showing people her pants (not something which I was asking her to apologise for, though I did say that if she didn't want to wear her dress I would take it off and she could go home in just pants; I did lose my temper!) and then I said that if she wanted to go to school she could go but if she didn't she had to make it possible for me to look after her and keep her alive every single day. So she agreed to be good tomorrow and also showed me that she can multiply and add up and write her name without a prompt.

Things I did today

1. Gave both children breakfast (Emer didn't eat hers).


2. Bathed both children, including washing hair and scrubbing nails with nailbrushes.


3. Fine-combed Linnea's hair, because she has been scratching lately.


4. Hung three loads of laundry on the line; washed one.


5. Gave everyone lunch.


6. Did the usual house-tidying clearing up stuff.


7. Went to the post office, Moondogs café, and the RISC fair-trade shop.


8. Bought a birthday present and a new-baby present.


9. Brought both children to dancing.


10. Allowed Emer not to dance because she didn't want to; took Linnea away from the class because she refused to dance but also didn't want to sit at the side quietly.


11. Also, took both children to the toilet several times in public toilets; lifted them up so they could reach the soap, sinks, taps, paper towels etc, each time.


12. Calmly changed every stitch Emer was wearing when she wet herself.


13. Did not allow Linnea to kill herself running out into the road.


14. Made a threat and followed through; "If you won't let me walk you home safely we will all sit here until you do let me walk you home safely."


15. Had a meaningful conversation about Why The Day Went Wrong with Linnea, hopefully laying groundwork for a better day tomorrow.


16. Made a shopping list for Rob and texted it to him, because we forgot to arrange it last night.


17. Found seven conkers.

( Other stuff I want to do sometime )