(no subject)

I have been through bleaker times
And I have shed more bitter tears
I have stood before and faced alone
This selfsame dark of fear
But I am too tired to stand, this time
I lie here on the ground
And the tears of shame and fury
Flow without resistance down
I have been alone before and lived
I have been alone and thrived
And now I am alone again
It's not enough to be alive
I am tired, I am angry, I am cold and I'm afraid
And I fear that far too much and far too little has been said.

(no subject)

I am battling my demons
I shall do them all at once
I'll have loneliness for breakfast
I'll have neediness for lunch
And when I feel it's time to share
A smackerel of something
I will take "fear of success" and I
will serve it up as nothing.

Today was a long day

We woke at 8:05 and had breakfast and played and put on laundry and hung out laundry and washed the lino floors and tidied up and got dressed and put clean laundry away, sort of, and napped and had lunch and knitted and I forget what else. At 6 we had dinner and then played tea-parties and in the ball pool and some other stuff. Then Linnea had a snack and her bath and got ready for bed. At 9:15 she was in bed, had had her feed, was settling down nicely -

And sat up and puked over the side of the bed. So I changed her bedding and her pyjamas and she was WIDE awake so I brought her down to watch TV until she unwound again. A total clothes change was very very exciting.

She seems perfectly well; I called NHS Direct and they don't advise witholding anything - food, drinks, nothing - since it's so mild. So she had another snack and some juice and some milk and is in bed now. Tonight's bedtime: 23:20. So later than last night but she was sick.

The bedtime routine fell nicely into place today. 6-6:30, dinner. 6:30-7:30, exciting play. 7:30 - 8:00, snack, run bath, play. 8:00-8:30 brush teeth, bath and drying. 8:30-9:00 - naked play, nappy and pyjamas, read books. 9:00 - bed, feed, drift off to sleep.

9:15 puke wasn't on the original plan.

I think I should get the routine printed in a large font on an A4 sheet so I can pin it to the wall to remind us daily where we're supposed to be after dinnertime. We're not very good at sticking to it.

Anyway, it's 11:30 or so and I have done all I need to do. There's a single pot not washed but that's ok. It's time for tea and chocolate, and bed at midnight.