Having children changes your life

This morning, I got up, had a quick bath, got dressed, did my hair, had breakfast, cleared the table, took the melons out of the washing machine, chopped the vegetables for dinner, and put some fish broth to defrost.

I also answered a cry for help from someone running in her sleep to the nearest cuddle; she woke just enough to find me in the next room and fell straight back asleep on my shoulder. She napped, in total, for three hours today. Either she's about to grow or she has a sleep deficit as well as us.

When she's in bed this evening I hope to rearrange the pantry and make banana bread muffin things. I have a banana bread recipe; I'm just going to abuse it until it's dairy-free and muffin-shaped. Because I have a feeling that someone I know will just adore banana muffins, and I have a bunch of blackening bananas.

My favourite children's TV programme is no longer on on weekdays. We never watch TV at the weekend, so this is a bit disappointing. When I resort to TV I prefer it to be something I like to watch. How much TV is too much? 8 hours a day? 12? I think it's only on for 13 hours a day anyway. Perhaps I need more channels.

Tomorrow is library day and playground day, we hope. There's Rhyme Time at the library and then a choice of playgrounds. Rob has taken to bringing her to the park around the corner after dinner, too, which is nice. He has a lovely video of a couple of boys playing football with her - very polished-looking dribbling of the ball up to the toddler's feet, then, they hold it steady for her and stand back. It's incredibly sweet.

I'm developing the kind of relationship with the camping shop guys that I associate with the barmen at the local pub, if I'd ever had a "local" pub. I go in, they chat, I chat, we make jokes, friendly banter... I think I spend too much time looking for gadgets. But camping shops are the best place to get small versions of everyday stuff! And I'm going to get a proper rucksack. We tried all the ladies' ones and they are all too long in the back for me, so they've ordered in a shorter one for me to try. They were so sure the one in the shop would fit - they carefully positioned the supports over my hips, tightened all the straps, stood back, and said "So, how's that?"

"Shouldn't the straps be touching my shoulders?"

With the waistband properly tightened, the rigid back of the rucksack kept the straps a good inch and a half above my actual shoulders. It's possible to carry a rucksack like that - I've done it - but it's no fun. And we really hope to go camping again this autumn.

More mothering

I've made banana muffins to a recipe a friend had on her fridge: 100g butter-substitute, 200g soft brown sugar, 350g self-raising flour, 2 eggs, 4-5 bananas. Bake at 170C / 325F / mark 3 for 40 minutes for muffins, about an hour for cake. I think I might like to add some baking powder next time as they are pretty doughy, but then, I tend to find muffins doughier than I like.

So now, am I a good mother for making homemade muffins, or a bad mother for eating them all, or an even worse mother for giving my daughter sugary food for breakfast? Because she's not getting this much sugar in the afternoon, no matter what.

She likes the tie-dyed scarf I wear to keep my hair out of my eyes (I have wisps) and kept trying to put it on herself. But it fell off. So I retied one of them to fit her, and she is now delighted to look at herself in the mirror and be Just Like Me. Where's my leather biker jacket?!

(Which reminds me, I need to return that jacket to its owner, because it's too heavy for me to wear every again. I think - or at least, until Linnea doesn't need to be picked up ever again).

I need to decide whether or not to continue feeling guilty when I allow Linnea to drink sugary stuff like apple juice. So far, I figure that as long as she eats too, to stimulate saliva production, it doesn't matter... But what do I know?