Good things do happen

[ailbhe]

• No-one has tried to tell us who we must invite.
• No-one has tried to tell us that we must get married in a church. Well, there was one of three parents who was slightly disappointed, I think, but got over it or decided it was our business.
• Only one person has expressed surprise that I'm not changing my name, and that person appears to have accepted it now.
• The food will be more interesting than at most weddings, if not actually better quality.
• I don't have to wear a frilly dress. My dress is very plain and no-one is trying to make me wear a fancy one.
• The champagne will be drinkable and there will be enough of it.
• There will be enough food and tea and coffee.
• Cash bars are ok nowadays, even if I feel churlish for not having free fizzy drinks all day. I've never been to a wedding where there were free soft drinks apart from at the meal itself, as far as I can remember.
• The gift issue isn't really an issue; there is only one person - ok, me too, so two persons - making an issue of it. The other 70-odd people seem quite happy.

Comments

[bopeepsheep.livejournal.com]

We had free soft drinks at ours, but mainly because we were horrified at the prices the hotel bar wanted to charge (much worse than pub prices), and worked out that if we got it all on Buy One Get One Free offers at Sainsburys or wherever, the total for buying it in, plus the corkage charge, worked out cheaper than our buying everyone one small drink each - the original plan had been to put some cash behind the bar for our evening guests, since they'd not had drinks with dinner like everyone else had. Over half our guests were under 18 or teetotal (Methodists) so this was definitely the better option. (And those who wanted to get drunk still did even at the hotel bar prices, so that's their lookout.) It's definitely not expected though, and ours is the only wedding I've heard of it at, too.

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

. . . cash bars are okay now? Since when?

[ailbhe]

For the past ten years, over here. Possibly longer, but I wasn't going to weddings then.

[radegund.livejournal.com]

Piece in last Saturday's Irish Times says couples now routinely spend up to €20,000 on their wedding - a vast proportion of this on drink for the reception. I didn't read the article (just squawked over its contents with glitzfrau, who relayed the gist to me), so I've no idea whether this implies that cash bars are In or Out here.

I suspect it has to do with the Celtic Tiger "We Must Have Everything Right Now" mentality (one increases one's mortgage to raise the funds, natch) - and possibly the milling platoons of relatives who must be accommodated, particularly at rural weddings. (We're going to a swanky do in Leitrim in August - I do believe they were talking about 300 guests...)

Or...I don't know...maybe you too are sinking a hefty five-figure sum on this, and I'm just hopelessly unrealistic...

Crassly talking prices

[ailbhe]

My grandfather paid for the drink at my aunt's wedding, in the late sixties, and that was unusual in their circles then.

The wedding and reception is costing 6k (8.5k in Euros), but remember that things are generally cheaper over here and we have a spectacularly cheap venue (though not as cheap as some local rugby club hall would be) and some very good champagne, and we are only having an absolute maximum of 75 guests.
Food is costing 2k, wine and champagne during the meal 1.3k. The dress, both our shoes, both rings, makeup and Special Strapless Bra cost 0.6k total. We're getting the photography and video done for free.

We have been saving for two years and we managed to almost save enough by dint of me working myself sick. Elope to New Zealand; it's better for you, and probably cheaper.

Crassly talking prices

[micheinnz.livejournal.com]

$NZ 1 == about Euro 0.5. So yes, weddings will be cheaper here. Ours cost about $NZ 2500, all up, but we mostly did things ourselves.

[hfnuala.livejournal.com]

Other than possibly some wine with the meal, cash bars have always been OK at weddings in Ireland.

[astrogeek.livejournal.com]

I've been to 5 weddings in the last 3 years, and all of them had cash bars apart from a glass of wine with the dinner and a glass of champagne for the toast. I thought this was the norm anyway, unless the couple had money to burn.

[ailbhe]

Yes, that is the norm, though we are managing to stretch to reasonable wine and champagne quantities, mainly because we don't want to stint ourselves.