Hugs, and good luck with the specialist, and booooooooooooooo to people who try to imply that you're mothering wrong. (Hmmm. Perhaps a cloak of magic duck feathers would allow such ridiculosity to flow off more easily?)

International childcare guidelines. Hah. When I was a baby my parents were (a) firmly instructed to put me sleeping on my front, (b) told to feed me on a rigid four-hourly schedule (they lasted about half a day, apparently - for which feebleness of resolve I'm very grateful!), and (c) attacked for having children at all when population explosion was such a critical issue (presumably by people who didn't want pensions, doctors, plumbers, etc. when they got older).

But today's guidelines are different, of course - we've ironed out all the errors of previous eras, and our advice is infallible. Don't you know.

Yes, it's hard. And yes, you are doing the right thing.