Anyone who's known me for about the last two years of my life know what a hell pregnancy and giving birth was. Not to mention the battles (and I mean kicking/screaming/namecalling/threatening BATTLES) I ended up having with the boobnazis here at LJ because I started out BFing and switched to FFing.
I tried it. I HATED Bfing. Hated it. Hated feeling so..attached. Like I couldn't go anywhere..not even to the bathroom by myself..with the baby attached to me.I hated the initial 'fullness' that comes with having a baby..my boobs were big enough already and a pain as it is. I hated that extra heaviness,the soreness that wouldn't go away.
I,too,felt guilty about not BFing at first. But then I realized (after many nights of tears and guilt-ridden yellfests with my hubby)that not BFing is actually OK. Formula,while it's not breastmilk, will not kill my son. He was on formula from 3 wks of age till just after his first birthday last month. He grew (!!shocking!!),gained weight,hit milestones like a champ. All on formula. And non-organic babyfood (which I know..I know..lock me up and throw away the key for that too).
Your writing is amazing. Thank you for having the gutsBALLS to share it with the world.