ailbhe: (evening)
[personal profile] ailbhe
Today I heard the saddest sound, queueing for paperwork at Ultrasound. A woman went into the room I had used to see my baby wriggling inside my womb. She was held by a midwife, and helped by a nurse, and her face was tracked with tears, and she shook. And then as I stood in the queue for the forms, I heard her crying.

I heard her crying.

I heard over and over and over and over a cry without words and without control, a cry that came from the depths of her soul. I knew - we all knew - you couldn't help knowing - her baby was dead. Her baby'd stopped growing. Her baby was gone. Her baby is gone. And the gone-ness will just go on, on and on, forever and ever, her baby is gone.

I heard her crying.

I cried myself. And so did the nurse at the filing shelf, and the admin assistant who booked me my next scan, and the midwife who waited, and the elderly man who I think was her father. The woman who came out saying "I must call Sean, where can I use a mobile phone?" I think was her mother.

I heard her crying.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-02-06 05:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] junipertree.livejournal.com
And now I'm crying too :(

(no subject)

Date: 2006-02-06 05:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] k425.livejournal.com
The poor woman.

crying too.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-02-06 05:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] richtermom.livejournal.com
I'm crying too. I'm so so so sorry. I wish I could hug her.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-02-06 07:23 pm (UTC)
pauamma: Cartooney crab holding drink (Default)
From: [personal profile] pauamma
Probably not, but the alternative is worse, I think. And meanwhile, I'll offer you one, both for yourself and to pass it on, if you will.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-02-06 05:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] datagoddess.livejournal.com
Oh. Oh, no.

This made me think about my SIL, who went through this at 36 weeks. But she was alone at the doctor's office.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-02-06 06:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mactavish.livejournal.com
Oh, how very sad. :(

(no subject)

Date: 2006-02-06 06:31 pm (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2006-02-06 06:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] buzzy-bee.livejournal.com
There is a small boy lying on my lap wondering why he is being held so very tight.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-02-06 07:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrsflips.livejournal.com
Ten years ago last Halloween I was that woman.

It's the worst thing in the world. But then DS9 came along a few months later and then DD6.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-02-06 07:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mollydot.livejournal.com
5 months ago for me.

BTW, Ailbhe, also very triggering for people who aren't mothers because of that. But I probably would have looked anyway, becaseu I am a fule.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-02-06 07:36 pm (UTC)

warning! sad story below

Date: 2006-02-06 07:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flybabydizzy.livejournal.com
I, also, have been that woman. It was 22 years ago for me, after having a premature baby die, then a miscarriage, then finding out at the scan that the 3rd baby had died. It may sound really strange, but it was far easier to deal with than just losing the previous baby. I had been able to see that the baby just hadn't formed properly, through no fault of mine. About 8 months later I had another scan, and seeing that little smudge with a blip of heartbeat meant so very much for me, that smudge became his nickname for many years. I have since successfully produced a girl, as well. My losses were so long ago that it has become part of me, now, rather than something that happened to me, and it has given me almost enough love to cope with the fears and horrors that come with being the mother of teens.
I feel for that mother.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-02-06 08:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rivka.livejournal.com
And now I'm crying too.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-02-06 09:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] surelars.livejournal.com
Oh, no. It's such a terrible thing to have happen.

Three times my primary has been that woman. Three times I've held her as she cried and cried. Three times we've had to work through to pain, the anger, the sorrow. Three times we've had to find some sort of meaning again.

It's such a terrible thing to have happen. I feel for that woman, and I damn well feel that my own pain is still there.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-02-06 09:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hitchhiker.livejournal.com
that's inexpressibly sad :(

(no subject)

Date: 2006-02-06 09:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tiggsybabes.livejournal.com
I'm crying, so sad :(

(no subject)

Date: 2006-02-07 03:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zinecure.livejournal.com
That is so sad. I cried reading that. No one should ever have to lose a child that waay. It is heart wrenching when things like this happen. I hope that her and her family will heal and that her tears will not echo in your ears through out your pregnancy.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-02-07 04:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] micheinnz.livejournal.com
Oh my gosh, and now I'm crying too.

I wish I had arms long enough to hug her, just to let her know that someone cares.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-02-07 08:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nicolechan.livejournal.com
My friend just went through that and to make matters worse, the nurse that told her was very cold and rough with her words. It's all so heartbreaking!!!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-02-07 01:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sashajwolf.livejournal.com
And so did the nurse at the filing shelf, and the admin assistant who booked me my next scan, and the midwife who waited

I think this is what touched me most - that these people, who have to deal with this sort of tragedy so often, still have tears.

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